


The Best is Yet to Come

by TheLeaderOfBloodIsAMaid



Series: New Days Are Endless [1]
Category: Anacrine Complex (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, I don't know what my muses are doing so buckle down for the ride folks, I will tag warnings as neccessary, I'm writing by the seat of my pants here, Papa!Lee AU, allusions to past neglectful abuse, antagonist mentions the Sandy Hook shooting, any mistakes are on the author's shoulders and not the foster care system, blood in later chapters, characters keep their powers, gun related violence, other characters will be added as they come along, pre-comic, supporting cast of OCs due to necessity, writer's interpretation of Foster Care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-17 13:39:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4668641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLeaderOfBloodIsAMaid/pseuds/TheLeaderOfBloodIsAMaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Saunders has been in the foster care system for years, never really staying in one place. It seems like it's all he'll ever be, a vagabond with no home, no family, no past. But then, his social worker lands him on the doorstep of a young mechanic and Ben's entire life changes. Add in supperpowers to the mix and suddenly Ben has alot of things to deal with. And another thing, will he ever feel comfortable enough to call Mr. Lee 'Dad'?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Found My Way To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Lee and Ben being cautious nerds together and lots of wary bonding. Ben just came from a crummy foster home and Lee is just trying to not screw the kid up more than he already is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are basically no fanfics for Anacrine Complex (which is a crime because that webcomic is AMAZING everyone who hasn't read it should go read it NAO). I know, I know, it's just starting but that doesn't mean I don't want fanfics. So, what do you do when there are no fanfics? You write your own. But since we know basically absolutely NOTHING about main characters and backstory, this thing will definitely be AU even if I tried to write it in line. So why not go full out and AU to my heart's content from the get go?  
> Aaaand... the word count got away from me. It exploded. It was amazing, if heartbreaking because I did not plan for most of Ben. I hope Lee isn't super OoC... but I'm writing from a before perspective with whatever made him into the sad frowny man he is in comic.
> 
> Also, it's unbeta-ed at the moment so forgive me for any mistakes. (TT.TT)

 Ben stared out the car window, hand cradling his cheek as he watched his world slowly fall behind once more. Loneliness was eating his insides once again and he ripped his eyes away from the streets he had called home for a year - his longest record of a good stay. Of course it had to go wrong somewhere. Somehow he had messed up, just like always. 

This was a pattern that was refusing to leave, a repeat of data that had been constant since he had begun being known as ‘that foster kid’. A family would welcome him into their home, it would be amazing and warm, everything he could ask for in a family shaped package. But then, inevitably, it would all go wrong and everything would turn cold. 

The reasons were different every time, but the end result was the same. Ben would pack up his belongings, return things he might have borrowed in the hopes that this time - _this_ time, it would all be different and that he would have more time than what he was given. Little trinkets that nobody would miss, painstakingly restored to their best condition, would find their way to the rooms of those fostering him. Just so that they would have a little sliver of his memory, something that would say - hey I was here, I lived here too. And when everything was packed, Mr. Miles - the social worker in charge of his case - would come pick him up in his old Ford Taurus that was reaching the end of it’s life cycle and then Ben would be on his way again, hoping for something different for a change. 

So here he was, on his way to another inevitable disappointment. Ben watched as a Burger Blast outlet passed by, his eyes beginning to unfocus. What was the point? He’d just be shuffled out eventually. Maybe it would be better if he ran away and lived on the streets. Nobody could kick you out of a family then.

His stomach growled, as if to protest the idea. Ben remembered what everyone said about the homeless, how they were lucky to even get enough money to eat. The world was a very unforgiving one, and his stomach would never survive the journey. At least with the foster care system he got fed and watered, with a roof over his head for as long as he stayed. 

The car was coming to a stop. Ben blinked, a hand absentmindedly going to his stomach as it rumbled again, quieter but more insistent. His chocolate eyes found the car clock and let out a sigh. It was 4:34, a little bit before dinner. No wonder his stomach was demanding to be fed and watered. 

His eyes were drawn to the place they were pulling up to. It was an interesting house, large enough for a big family. A stab of worry hit Ben like a sledgehammer, taking his breath away. What if there were kids and the kids hated him? It had happened before, those were always the worst. It made for an uneasy time and he was usually booted out faster than if it were warm and stable. 

There was another building to the side of the house, close enough that it was obvious that it was owned by the same person - family? Were there enough people that it was a family unit? Judging from the size of the two buildings, it was a family. The data wouldn’t make sense if there wasn’t a family unit running about. 

Mr. Miles pulled into the driveway and Ben took in a shuddering breath. He had to make a good impression, he was already fourteen, four more years and he’d be booted out of the system with no support at all if everything kept going the way it had. His mind shied away from that thought with a shudder. It was his worst nightmare, being sent off into the wilds of adulthood with no guidance at all. It would be better if something just killed him instead. 

“C’mon, Ben. Let’s go meet Mr. Pierson.” The social worker said, turning off his car with the removal of his keys. Ben gulped but grabbed his suitcase and nodded. A sick feeling churned in his stomach, anxiety reaching out to grab his shoulders with its horrid claws. 

_You’ll never have a family_. The anxiety told him, but Ben tried to tune it out. _Mr. Pierson will never love you. You’ll just go onto the next family, and the next and the next. You’ll be alone forever._  

It was hard to ignore anxiety when it was repeating your darkest fears back at you. But Ben shouldered on and slipped out of the car despite his wobbly legs. He had to make a good impression, just incase this was going to turn out different. Mr. Miles put a hand on Ben’s back and gently guided him to up the steps and to the front door. 

The three heavy knocks were loud enough to make Ben cringe. What if Mr. Pierson didn’t like loud noises and he got angry at Ben when Mr. Miles left? It had happened before, so the possibility wasn’t _that_ far out. But Ben hoped all the same that it would be another good stay, that Ben could find a family. It was a small and fragile thing, this hope that his heart stubbornly clung on to. It was very easy to shatter, like a golden stained glass. 

It was already so fractured, that if this stay ended in misery just like all the rest, then Ben would give up. It had been too long since he had a real home. His childhood had been ripped away and if he couldn’t find anything to keep him stable (warmth, love, someone who cared), then what was the point? If he just kept wandering from house to house, always becoming uprooted, then what was the point of growing roots in the first place? 

The sound of a bolt unlocking made Ben’s hand tighten on the handle of his orange and yellow suitcase. His heart pounded. Here was the moment of truth. Would he have a home, in Mr. Pierson’s family? Or would he be tossed in the wind again come six months time? And then the door opened and Ben saw his newest foster parent for the first time. 

The first thing Ben noticed was that the man was _tall_ , tall and lanky. He was young, but not very old, maybe in his upper twenties, lower thirties? His long black hair was tied back in a low knot and he had mild laugh lines around his brown eyes. There was paint smudged on his cheek, giving him a mildly absentminded look to match the paint smeared clothing. 

“Hello Mr. Pierson.” Mr. Miles greeted, holding his hand out. 

Mr. Pierson startled slightly, as if remembering social conventions and gave an awkward laugh, taking the outstretched hand with his paint stained one and pumped it up and down twice before letting go. It was obvious that Ben’s new foster parent had all of his attention directed elsewhere. Worry churned in the boy’s guts. What if he didn’t care about Ben at all?

But that worry was quickly smothered when Mr. Pierson crouched down to Ben’s level. Inwardly the boy sulked at the unfairness of tall people. But strangely enough, Ben was pleased that the older man had done it at all. Too many people had looked down on him, like they weren’t worth the time they spent on him. To have a man he just met crouch so he could look directly at him, eye to eye, was a very gratifying thing. 

“Hi Ben.” Mr. Pierson greeted, holding out his hand to shake. It looked kinda awkward. “You can call me Lee, no need to be super formal around here.” 

Ben stared at Mr. Pierson- _Lee_ ’s hand for a full minute before beaming at the man, taking it and giving it a good vigorous shake. “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Lee, sir.” He said, his fears slowly draining away at the easy manner that Lee spoke. He had a very nice deep voice. 

Mr. Lee nodded at him, face solemn - as if they had completed a very serious ritual then got up to address Mr. Miles. Something inside Ben was beginning to settle and it was like a deep breath of fresh air after years of smog. It was a very relaxing feeling. 

Mr. Miles was talking. “We’ll have a social worker coming around in a few months to check up on Ben…”

It was all stuff he had already heard what must have been a million times. So Ben did what was the reasonable thing for a bored teenager and pulled out his DS. The loading screen of the most recent game he had been playing quickly appeared and with the title music playing loud in his earbuds, Ben tuned out.

***

Lee Pierson was panicking. Why? Because he was going to be meeting the child he was to be the foster parent of and he had paint all over _everything_. Why he hadn’t followed the clock more closely was a loss to him and now he didn’t have time to clean up like he’d planned. 

The time was running too fast, it was like he had blinked and it was suddenly afternoon instead of morning. Beside him, the metal cabinet started to rattle, forcing him to take a deep breath. The rattling subsided and Lee felt a dark scowl shade over his face. 

Control. He had to have _control_. There would be a kid living with him, he could loose that control, else someone would get hurt. An innocent kid could get hurt. …Why did he think this was such a good idea again?

Lee shook his head, frown deepening. _Stop that_. He scolded himself. He was already committed, it would break the kid’s heart if he dropped out now. Besides, the paperwork had already been signed, it was too late. He was an official Foster Parent - capitals and everything. 

Three loud knocks caused him to jump, hand over his racing heart. Lee closed his eyes and took a deep breath in through his nose and out his mouth. _Okay, you’ve got this._ He coached, walking over to the door and unlatching the lock. 

The mechanic looked down and saw the boy - a teenager really - with a heartbreakingly lonely expression on his face. His red hair had curls falling down onto his pale forehead, his glasses giving him a slightly studious edge to his face. His hand was clutching tightly to the old orange and yellow suitcase handle. It was probably the only thing he truly owned and Lee’s heart broke all over again over the child. 

“Mr. Pierson.” The social worker said stiffly, hand outreached towards Lee. Lee gave a start, having forgotten that the man was even there. The hand hung there for a few seconds as the mechanic scrambled to get his wits about him. 

“Mr. Miles.” He returned, giving the social worker’s hand a good firm shake. But all of his attention was on the boy, Ben. Ben, who looked lost and lonely and in need of a good home. 

Lee hoped he could provide it for him. He wanted Ben to make his mark on his home, a home so very lonely for one person who had dreamed of running feet and laughter echoing around the halls. It was an impossible dream, or at least, that was what he had once thought. But dreams can often start small, and this one was just beginning to send it’s tender spouts up toward the sun. 

Maybe one day, someone would call him Dad. 

But that was far into the future, and Lee needed to focus in the now. It was time to make a good impression. The mechanic remembered a time when he had been that short, though he had been a far bit younger than Ben at the time, and how he had hated being looked down at. So instead of towering over him, he crouched down until he was eye level with the teen and held out his hand. His balance was nearly shot to oblivion and back but it was all worth it when Ben looked him straight in the eye, the sadness vanishing in a bright moment as the biggest smile grew upon his youthful face. It lit him up like a christmas tree, his brown eyes sparkling under those black frames of his. 

Lee would always treasure that moment and tucked safely in his heart where a great many more beautiful Ben shaped pieces would slot into place, as if they had always belonged there since the beginning of time. And maybe Ben had. 

Ben already had Lee’s heart wrapped around his nimble fingers and the child didn’t truly realize it. Lee would do _anything_ to keep that bright smile on his face, would do anything to protect him from harm. Ben would be safe with him, for however long that would be (Lee hoped it would be forever but kept it to himself). 

After shaking Ben’s hand, Lee stood up to go over any final concerns the Social Worker had. There was no real worry, just standard finalization questions. Out of the corner of his eye, Lee could see Ben tapping away at a rather beat up and scuffed gaming device. It looked rather well loved, despite all the dings and scratches it had acquired after so long of a transitionary lifestyle. 

Eventually, the social worker nodded at Lee and Lee nodded back. The two men clasped hands a final time and Lee watched in relief as the man climbed into his old car and left, the engine giving off such a doubtful stutter that Lee knew without a doubt that Mr. Morris would be seeing a mechanic like himself or a car dealer for a new ride in the next month or so. 

Lee turned to Ben, just barely able to hear the boy’s stomach snarling for sustenance. “Shall we go in?” he asked, nodding his head towards the inner sanctum of his home. Ben looked up at him, headphones in one hand. There was something in those brown depths that Lee couldn’t define, but it stole his breath away despite that.

A grin split Ben’s face into brightness once more. “Sure! I’m starving!” he said, a sense of cheer filling the void of awkwardness that being just barely acquainted brought. 

Ben’s honesty startled a laugh out of the man and Lee held the door open for the kid to go in first. There was a bounce in Ben’s step. It was good to see. 

Although… ‘Mr. Lee’? That was a new one. It wasn’t bad, just amusing.  

***

Ben had decided five seconds in that Mr. Lee’s house was Awesome. It was large and clean, despite what the paint stains on the man’s clothes said. Maybe he was an artist and he had a studio. That would be awesome. Especially if he made comics. But that was probably a far off dream because artists who had paint on their whole body tended to be working with canvas. 

The kitchen was brightly lit by wide open windows, sheer white curtains hung from the sides. The walls were a light beige and in the middle of it all, was a circular table made out of wood. Several tall chairs surrounded the table, as it was quite high. 

There were practically stars in Ben’s eyes as he gazed at the place where he could be doing homework, eat snacks and simply hang around. It was like holy ground. The mecca of life. It was a place that held _food_. 

Mr. Lee was already puttering around behind the granite countertop. “I hope you like turkey sandwiches, because there’s not that much in the fridge right now.” 

Ben beamed at the man from where he sat at the table. “I love turkey!” he said. All food was equal in Ben’s eyes. No food was lesser than the other for they all filled his stomach equally. Amen. Food was a blessing, sent from above. Amen. 

Mr. Lee relaxed. “Okay, we’ll have turkey sandwiches then.” 

“Do you need any help, Mr. Lee?” Ben asked, swinging his feet in the air. These chairs really _were_ as high as he’d thought. It was _awesome_. 

“I’ve got it, Ben.” Mr. Lee said, with a huff that must have been laughter. “Do you want any tomatoes or lettuce?” 

Oooooh this was nice. It was a fancy turkey sandwich. “Sure! Do you have any mayo and mustard, cause those taste good with that stuff.” Then Ben thought about it some more and backtracked slightly. “Um, you don’t have to put them on if you don’t want this is your house, your food and all…” 

Mr. Lee put down the butter knife and looked up at Ben, brown eyes serious. “Ben, this is your house too, we can put mayo and mustard on your sandwich, all you need to do is ask. At worse I’d just have to go to the store - which needs to happen this week anyways, we’re almost out of milk.” He opened the fridge and placed both the jar of mayo and the bottle of mustard on the counter. “Lucky for you Ben, we still have some condiments left.” 

Ben went limp, muscles that he didn’t even know he had tensed loosening. He didn’t want to be a burden. “Good.” He cleared his throat, “…That’s…That’s good.”

Mr. Lee leaned on the counter, facing toward him, “Ben. It’s okay to ask for things. You may have to work at them to actually get them, but you can always ask and we can work things out.” 

Ben eyed the older male warily. Great. It was the _rules_ discussion. “And what would I have to do to earn the stuff I want?” he asked, plonking his chin in the palm of his hand. 

“Chores around the house mostly, stuff that would get you an allowance. You’d be doing things you’d normally be doing, like cleaning your room or your bathroom - that way you’ll get a steady amount of income each week. ” Mr. Lee shrugged. “When you’re old enough, you can also get a job. You’ll get more money faster that route.” 

“But what if I’m here only for a little while?” Ben asked. 

“We’ll make it count then. But let me be level with you Ben.” Mr. Lee folded his hands in front of him. “If you really want to stay here, you can. I will fight tooth and nail to give that to you, and if you want to leave, then I’ll let you when the social worker comes around. This is your home too now, and I don’t want you to be unhappy.” 

Ben wanted to believe it. He really did. “But you don’t even know me!” he protested. “What if you decide you can’t handle me and ship me off again!”

“Like everyone else?” Mr. Lee’s sharp brown eyes narrowed. “Ben, if I didn’t want you here, I wouldn’t have become a foster parent. The only reason I would have you leave without you wanting it is if for some forsaken reason I didn’t have the capabilities to take care of you, or if you became a danger to yourself.” 

Ben stared open mouthed. 

Lee continued. “And I don’t think either of those are happening. You can call this place home as long as you want to, Ben. And if you want to call it quits, I’ll let you do it. It’s always going to be your call, alright?” 

Ben could only nod wordlessly, brown eyes wide under his glasses. Nobody had ever been so candid with him, so upfront about things. It… it was nice. It was nice to know where everyone stood, where the line was. And… to have that line drawn with the knowledge that someone was on his side, well… that was the best feeling in the world. 

“So… say if I wanted a DS3, what would be the standard for that?” Ben decided to poke at the rule laid down. 

Mr. Lee smiled. “I’d have you earn it by chore money or some other venture like a lemonade stand. Unless it was near your birthday or Christmas. I might just buy it as a present then.” 

Ben’s mouth dropped open. “R-really?” he squeaked. 

Mr. Lee nodded. “Really.” He confirmed. 

The boy hesitated, brushing a bit of curl away from his eyes. “Um… What… what if I did something wrong? What would you do then?”

Mr. Lee narrowed his eyes. “Depending on how severe the issue was, I’d say it would be a range between a few extra chores or even a grounding.”

“Would… would grounding include taking away food?” Ben whispered, fingers pressed so tightly together that his knuckles were turning white. He couldn’t look at Mr. Lee so he looked at the table instead. There was a strange rattling noise. 

Ben heard Mr. Lee utter an agonized sigh over it. “Oh Ben…” 

The older man’s shoes squeaked slightly when he walked over tile. Ben stared at the table in silence, trying to memorize all the curves and ridges it contained. He was so tense again, his heart hammering in his chest. “You didn’t answer.” He pointed out, feeling Mr. Lee’s body heat a few hands away. His voice rose in anxiety. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Ben, please look at me.” Mr. Lee’s voice was quiet, but there was a rumble in it that made Ben’s pulse quicken at a higher rate. Long fingers hesitantly tilted Ben’s face up so they could look at each other in the eye. The boy could only see an abject sorrow in those dark eyes. 

“Ben… listen. My answer is no. I will never take food away to punish you. You might not get desert but I would _never_ deprive you of a meal.” 

Ben searched his face, trying to find any lie or hint of deceit. “You promise?” he couldn’t speak up above a whisper. Even at such a quiet hesitant tone, his voice broke. 

“I promise.” Mr. Lee told him seriously. “You will never go hungry under my care. _Never._ ” The rattling increased slightly then as suddenly as it had started, it was gone. 

Ben wet his lips, his tongue searching for the right words to say. “I… okay. Okay. I… I… I believe you.” He floundered before letting out a sigh and allowing his head to hit the table with an audible thud. He couldn’t do the word thing. Not today, not after the conversation they had just had. Words would not be coming anymore, he was all out. Come back later when he could word properly. 

He heard the slight squeak of Mr. Lee’s shoes retreat to the other side of the kitchen and the knife being picked back up. Maybe if he just laid here both of them would forget what they had talked about. It was unlikely but unlikelier things had happened to him before. 

***

 Lee returned to making their sandwiches. Mentally, he was already making a list of things they would need to go over but that could wait until tomorrow. It was getting dark and Lee could see just how tired Ben really was. His head was drooping, bobbing with the effort to remain awake one moment then dozing off another, then suddenly jerking back up once he had realized he had nodded off. It was a rather adorable sight, if one that sent shards of pain into Lee’s heart. 

Whoever had been taking care of Ben had been seriously neglectful and at worse physically abusive. It made his blood simmer but that had almost caused another case of “poltergeist” activity among the silverware so he had to take a deep breath and push past the rage. However, if he ever did meet the people who had messed Ben up, he would have be having strong words with them, alongside some very nasty pranks at the ready. 

There would be no holding back then. 

Lee finished the sandwiches and place a plate down infront of the dozing teen. The clink of the plate hitting the table startled the boy awake, causing him to blink up owlishly with glasses askew. Lee let out a small huff of amusement and handed him a glass of milk to wash the sandwich down. The hesitant smile that was on Ben’s face made his heart ache with both love and sorrow. 

It felt good to love someone unconditionally again.  

*** 

Ben’s room might have been plain, but it was _amazing_ , just like the kitchen downstairs was amazing. It was amazing because it was Ben’s and Mr. Lee had said that they could go out and pick any color he wanted from the paint shop. 

He had a _room_. Of his own. To customize, to do _anything_ with as long as it didn’t create any irreparable property damage. There had been a lot of inner squealing and jumping around that he was too tired to actually enact. He _had_ \- on a spur of total impulse - hugged Mr. Lee right around the middle then dashed off further into his room, blushing furiously. 

Mr. Lee had hovered around the doorway a little awkwardly, as if he didn’t know what to do with himself for a while before he had departed. 

Ben flopped backwards onto his bed and relished at the feeling of having something this large as his own. It was a very novel thing.

***

The hall was dimly lit, and Lee walked down it as quietly as he could. He paused at Ben’s door and poked his head in to see how the boy was faring. Ben was sprawled out on the bed covers, fast asleep. The way his red hair fell in fiery strands against closed eyelids gave him a young innocent look, his lips lightly upturned in a smile. His dreams must be rather pleasant. An overwhelming surge of parental love and concern for this sleeping youth took his breath again, It was almost too much for one human to handle. But Lee managed it and felt humbled by the immensity of his emotions, that he wasn’t yet so jaded that he couldn’t care for someone who needed all the affection and love they could get. 

Lee tiptoed further into the room, making sure the door did not squeak. He brushed back the boy’s red hair with a gentle hand, then went to work about making Ben comfortable. With a tenderness both foreign and welcome, Lee tugged off sneakers and pulled back the covers from under the boy. He arranged the boys legs to something a bit more comfortable and pulled the comforter back up to the boy’s chin. There, Lee’s hand settled on Ben’s head and rested in place for a brief moment, fingers carding through red curls. 

“Sleep well, kid.” Lee said softly as he watched the even rise and fall of Ben’s chest taking in oxygen. "Keep having good dreams, okay?"

How one boy could bring such joy and bittersweet sorrow into his life, he had never known until now. And he would never give this up for the world. 

Lee let out a sigh and then took a step back, turning around to head to his own bed. Unknown to the man, Ben's smile grew wider as he snuggled down in bed, able to finally drift off to sleep with the comforting knowledge that finally someone was out there to look out for _him_ and not for themselves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song - Best Is Yet to Come by Red


	2. Remember I Am By Your Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in there is much fluff and a spice of angst on the horizon, Ben is shown around town, meets new friends, and Lee demonstrates how much of a papa bear he really is. Also, just how much food can one boy stand to consume? Lee's wallet might be several weights lighter if he's not careful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, here we are again and I have some semblance of an idea on where this ship is headed. All aboard the cruise towards family fluff and angst! And also canon but that's for a later installment.
> 
> Also, holy guacamole Batman! This fic is just going to be huge! Grab your popcorn folks it's gonna be wild! Also, again, unbetaed. Any mistakes are on me.

Everything was large, like it used to be when he was so little. The desks and chairs towered over him, exaggerated by the warped perception so common in dreams. Ben - featuring in this dream as his younger self - toddled down the hall, clutching his blanket with his thumb in his mouth. He was very young after all, he was allowed this small thing.

As he walked down the hall toward the kitchen, he began to hear upraised voices. Mama and Papa were fighting again and something inside him quailed to hear it. What if they started yelling at him too? Mama always told him to go upstairs before that happened, but Ben wanted some milk before bed.

Ben hoped they weren’t fighting in the kitchen. He toddled a few more steps down the hall before the light ahead of him cut out abruptly, sending him into darkness.

“Mama?” he called out, quivering. “Papa?”

There was an eerie silence. The house was cold when it had been warm a few seconds ago, making Ben shudder with fright. He didn’t like this anymore, this was scary.

The light flickered back on and all Ben could see was red, and a dark figure standing over a prone body. He turned around and fled, running down the hallway with the sharp smell of gunpowder haunting his nose.

With every step he took away from the room, he grew in age until he was a teenager, the same as his waking age. But that didn’t matter how big he was, the house would always grow alongside him. His breath came in short gasps, small lungs incapable of such prolonged activity. Dark pools of nighttime shadows collected in the cracks and corners, oozing malice. He tried to keep looking straight ahead, knowing with the knowledge of dreams that if he looked any closer at the shadows, the monster would get him and everything would start over.

Ben’s heart pounded in his throat, throbbing in fear. His tiny bare feet pounded the wooden floors, doors flashing by in moonlit blurs. He couldn’t stop running and he could look back, else the monster got him. He turned a corner that hadn’t been there before and his foot caught in a loose floorboard. With a shrill cry, he crashed to the ground.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Ben scrambled up but by that time it was too late. The monster had caught up, leaking red. The demented smile made his heart pound and Ben took a shaking step backwards. The monster stepped with him, matching him for every step. A skeletal finger touched his wrist in a vice grip.

Ben opened his mouth and the world around him shimmered and spun, like a whirlpool in sunlight. Colors mixed and swirled, turning a dark demented grey. Ben slammed his eyes shut and covered his ears with a choked back whimper. He didn’t want this to loop back. He didn’t want to see this!

When he opened them again, all he could see was red and the dark figure crouched over a prone body. Ben froze, his breath catching half formed in his chest. Maybe if he stayed really still, it wouldn’t happen again. His heart pounded frantically. His fingers twitched and the dark figure looked up, a skull with dead eyes boring deep into Ben’s own living ones.

Ben turned on his heel and fled, the dual sets of two pairs of feet pounding on the ground making his pulse race. It’s just a dream, it’s just a dream! He tried to tell himself, but like all the other repetitions, it made no difference.

For despite all the distortions his mind tried to layer upon it, there was no fighting the knowledge that this was all very, very real. That it had happened once and the memory of it was now there to stay in Ben’s psyche.

A scream was building in the teen’s chest but he couldn’t let it get free. His feet pounded the floorboards and his chest heaved. His lungs burned and his breath got caught in his throat.

The hallway was endless, and he couldn’t stop running. 

***

Lee woke up in the middle of the night with his senses on high alert, his heart racing for an unknown reason. The cabinet next to the door rattled on its hinges, making him take a deep breath and force the power back down into his core.

It was then that he heard Ben’s scream. How he couldn’t hear it before boggled the mind but he was already up and out of his bed before his mind could process it fully. It didn’t matter that it was around three or four in the morning, it didn’t matter that it was still dark outside, it didn’t matter that he was shirtless. Ben needed him.

Lee raced down the hall, nearly stumbling in his haste to get to the right room. His hand had just brushed against the doorknob when his power had opened it for him. “Ben, are you -” Lee froze, seeing his charge’s tangled sheets and wide red rimmed eyes. Tear tracks were staining his cheeks and his hair was an absolute bush of flaming curls.

Ben met his eyes briefly before curling up with a groan that was more of a whimper than anything else, tugging what blankets remained on the bed up over his head.

Lee let out a sigh and hesitantly walked further in, sitting down on the far edge of the bed. He coughed, rather unsure how to help the boy. When he had signed up as a foster parent, he had known he would have cases like these, but seeing it first hand, well… it was an entirely different ballgame and it hit Lee hard in the chest like a solid bag of bricks being thrown from a moving car.

“Did… Did I wake you?” Ben asked from under his blanket cave. The hesitance and wariness of it all made Lee’s heart break all over again. Lee was beginning to recognize that it would be a pattern with this one.

“Well. You certainly did.” Lee started then winced when the Ben shaped hump shrunk down dejectedly.

“Sorry…”

“Ben, it could be something trivial and I wouldn’t care. If you needed me at any time I would stop everything to help you, even sleeping.”

“But I woke you up, why aren’t you mad at me for that?” Ben’s voice was both defensive and bewildered. The blanket slid off his head, revealing the face of a lost child who couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Ben, you just had a nightmare. Why would I be angry at you for that?” Lee asked quietly, a small frown of concern edged in his forehead.

The boy shrugged. “Cause. That’s what people do.” He said it like it was a matter of fact, as if blaming a suffering child was a universal constant.

“Well, I’m not mad, just a little tired.” Lee sighed before getting an idea. “C’mon, kid. Let me warm you something up.”

Ben stared up at him quizzically, hand already groping for his glasses. “What? Food? At this hour of the night?”

“A drink actually. Usually I would go for an herbal tea or warm milk, but I think you need something sweet and not caffeinated.”

“Y-You don’t have to.” Ben sputtered, bare feet brushing against carpet. “I’m fine, really.” The boy tried to flash Lee one of his smiles but it didn’t reach his eyes and ultimately looked like a false show of bravado.

“You’ll feel better with this, I promise.” Lee said gently, pausing at the doorway. “Come down to the kitchen when you’re ready.”

Lee heard Ben sigh warily and get up to follow him.

***

Ben hated himself. The first night he’d spent at Mr. Lee’s and he had to have a nightmare. A loud one. One that had caused Mr. Lee to come running in, obviously running on little to no sleep.

Why Mr. Lee hadn’t yelled for waking him up was still a mystery to Ben. It was completely opposite to everything he had come to expect from a caretaker. Even the nicest of people would still be cranky at being woken up at… Ben glanced at the digital alarm clock already on the dresser. It read 5:02 AM.

He clambered up on a chair and slumped down on the table with a sigh, feeling miserable. This sense of the shoe hanging in the air was making anxiety stir in his gut. It was going to drop at any time and Ben would see Mr. Lee’s true colors. The honeymoon period was soon to end, right?

Ben watched with narrowed eyes as Mr. Lee (now wearing a shirt) walked around the kitchen, digging things out of the cabinets. A jar of honey, a bottle of cinnamon… the last of the milk… what was Mr. Lee planning on making? It was a very unusual ingredient list and for the life of him, the boy couldn’t piece together what it was.

Mr. Lee filled up a tea pot with hot water and set it on the stove to boil. Now Ben was even more confused. Why would you need really hot water when you weren’t making tea? Hadn’t Mr. Lee said that Ben didn’t need the caffeine?

The steam rising up the teapot’s spout made a loud whistling noise, making Ben jump as it increased in pitch. Mr. Lee got out two large mugs, setting them out onto the counter. The boy watched in fascination as the man got out two spoons and started dolling out honey.

“What are you making, Mr. Lee?” Ben asked hesitantly. Mr. Lee sprinkled in a pinch of the ground cinnamon into the two mugs, then poured some hot water into both.

“Hot Honey Milk.”

Ben squinted under his glasses, feeling rather befuddled. “Hot… honey milk? Why are you putting water in it when it’s supposed to be milk?”

Mr. Lee’s mouth twitched into a small smile, as if he knew a secret. “You’ll see, Ben. You’ll see.”

The man was stirring the mixture of honey, water and spice all together, Ben could hear the spoon scraping against the bottom of one mug. Once both were mixed to Mr. Lee’s satisfaction he poured in the remainder of the milk. The stirring process was resumed and soon, a mug of lightly opaque liquid was set infront of Ben’s wary eyes.

Mr. Lee took an easy sip. Ben stared suspiciously at the man, then back at his mug.

“It tastes good, I promise.” Mr. Lee said, leaning against the counter with easy grace.

Ben flushed and picked up the mug, cradling the warm ceramic in his hands. Hesitantly, he raised the cup to his lips and took a small sip. His eyes widened behind his black frames and he greedily began to take longer and deeper gulps. It was the perfect balance between sweet and cream, light and delicate to his tongue. It was an absolute balm to his frayed nerves.

The teen could drink about ten gallons of the stuff and still not feel sick. He said so and Mr. Lee let out a huff of air, lips quirking up.

“I think you’d be be feeling it after about one liter.”

Ben yawned. “Oh…” His eyes were slipping closed. Where had all of that adrenaline from the nightmare gone? All he could feel was a very pleasant warmness, and sleep sounded very nice at the moment. The last thing he sensed was the sweetness of diluted honey on his tongue and the coolness of the table, then he had drifted off into peaceful darkness. 

***

Ben woke up to sunlight streaming in from his white blinds. He blearily blinked at the slats of light before he stretched, his spine popping pleasantly as he sat up. “Nrrrgh…” the noise that escaped his mouth was both a sigh and a meditative hum as he rolled his shoulders to loosen them.

Then he remembered the events of the night before and fell back on his back with a groan, rolling over to bury his face into his pillow with a mortified groan. Acting like a little kid… how pathetic could you get?

Wait… He pushed himself up and gave his bed a critical look. The last thing he remembered was the coolness of the table before everything had been swallowed by sleep. Had… Had Mr. Lee carried him to bed? Okay. That’s it. Everybody go home, there’s nothing else to see here - the most embarrassing award had already been given out, there was no need to try for further embarrassment.

A knock came from Ben’s door, startling the teen into falling face first into his pillow and nearly dying of self inflicted suffocation. “Ben, are you awake?” came Mr. Lee’s voice. Ben groaned into his pillow. Why couldn’t everyone leave him to be mortified in peace?

“Ben?”

The boy groaned louder in response and Ben heard a huff of laughter.

“It’s time to get up, Ben.” Mr. Lee held onto amusement like a monkey with a stollen sketchbook.

“I don’t wanna.” Came the muffled groan as Ben buried himself deeper. “Let me be mortified in peace.”

“Well, guess I won’t be finding out what things you’d like to use to decorate your room then.”

Ben sat up, the pillow falling to the floor. “Wait, what? There’s a shopping trip involved? What about school?!”

Ben could tell through the man’s voice that Mr. Lee was smiling. “I thought since it’s your first day here in the district I’d let you settle in first before you met your peers.”

Ben couldn’t speak, too busy staring at the blurry image of the man standing in his doorway. The boy was unable to conjure up the knowledge that Mr. Lee was in fact, real.

“Seriously?” he squeaked out finally, hand curling around his glasses and jamming them onto his face.

Mr. Lee came into stark focus, the smirk on his face testament of his amusement. “Seriously.”

Ben’s brown eyes filled with stars as they sparkled. “Awesome!” Maybe this day wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

They had been to only two stores and Ben’s sneaker clad feet were already aching. “Are we done yet?”

Mr. Lee - the merciless shopper he was - only laughed at Ben’s pain, souring his mood even further. “Don’t you want your room to look nice?”

“Well… yeah but not at the expense of my feet!” Ben said, and for the record he wasn’t sulking. “Shopping isn’t really something I nor my feet like!”

Mr. Lee tossed him an amused look, full of fondness that made the teen bristle. “Oh really?” the mechanic drawled. “What if I told you something about this next stop?”

“Is it another clothes store because I swear if I step one foot inside another I’ll-”

They rounded a corner of the mall and Ben stopped, eyes widening. “No way.” He glanced away from the restaurant infront of them to look at Mr. Lee then back at the restaurant. “No way! Samai's Fireraised Pizza?! That’s like the best kind of pizza place in the whole city!”

Mr. Lee smirked. “Yes, now let’s go inside.”

Ben gaped at Mr. Lee’s retreating back. Was he really supposed to follow or was he supposed to wait? He didn’t know how to deal with this situation, he really didn’t. What was the protocol for a person who kept blowing all of your rules for the world to smithereens? His answer came in the form of Mr. Lee pausing at the doors and gesturing him to follow. A grin grew on Ben’s face and he couldn’t swallow the happiness that rose up in his chest and up his throat.

***

Lee couldn’t help but watch in horrified awe as Ben inhaled everything that had been set infront of him. It had started when the little bread appetizers had been placed in the middle of their table and Lee had had to remind Ben of their first discussion of what was and wasn’t acceptable under Lee’s watch. After that reminder, the youth had seized the opportunity to stuff his face full of food. At least, that’s how it appeared to Lee, but as he watched more carefully, the mechanic could see how Ben took care to not eat too fast. Each bite was measured with great care and was sized to make sure it went down with the littlest of protest. That didn’t mean that it wasn’t gone in the blink of an unsuspecting eye. And it hadn’t stopped there, once Ben had ordered his meal - a large collection of things that Lee just knew would be in his fridge for days if it wasn’t finished in one sitting - he’d kept on nibbling and munching in a controlled but serious manner.

How Lee had missed it the night before was a mystery but it made terrible sense in connection to what Ben had let slip before hand. Lee would simply have to make sure to keep the house very well stocked and make sure that Ben didn’t overeat. The fear of an eating disorder made the mechanic’s blood run cold - but that fear was only there because of the already deep concern for Ben’s health and wellbeing.

“Ben, you know that whatever you don’t finish now can go in the fridge at home, right?”

Ben looked up from his plate of pasta and chewed thoughtfully. “Gotcha Mr. Lee.” The teen said, mouth being muffled by his hand and the food still in it. “Still gonna eat this.” He added.

Lee sighed but conceded the fact that apparently Ben had a larger stomach than anticipated. His wallet was certainly going to be much lighter than he first thought. But seeing the wide grin on Ben’s face was certainly worth the sacrifice.

Thirty minutes later, after everything else had been boxed away, Ben leaned forwards. “Hey Mr. Lee? Can we get a desert? They have cotton candy here, I haven’t had cotton candy since I was eight!”

Lee stared at Ben’s hopeful face and swallowed the ’no’ already forming in his throat. “Alright, but that’s it.”

Ben beamed at Lee’s words and the mechanic knew that he was doomed. Ben had Lee wrapped around his finger and the youth didn’t even know it.

The man signaled for their bubbly waiter, who came over from where she had been bussing another table. “Anything else I can do for you lovely gents?” she asked brightly, “Any deserts or other meals to take home?” she winked at Ben who blushed slightly.

“We’d like to order one of your cotton candy deserts, if that would be alright.” Lee interjected before Ben could melt into a puddle of embarrassed teenage goop.

“Certainly! It’ll be out in a few, just hold tight!” she grinned and Lee felt like he was missing a rather hilarious joke.

The punchline came soon after, with a large pile of cotton candy that reached the entirety of Ben’s rather skinny torso. Ben’s eyes were sparkling stars and practically drooling at the powdered chocolate coating the top of the airy confection. It didn’t matter that it was pink it looked delicious.

Lee on the other hand was sorely regretting ever saying yes to the desert. Even that ultimate sundae would have been a better alternative. This… this was going to give Ben stomach aches and a horrid sugar crash at midnight. The responsible parental side of Lee shriveled up and about died when Ben took a massive fist full of the spun sugar and stuffed it in his mouth. The other more adventurous side from Lee’s more rambunctious college days whacked his wailing inner self with the rebuke to ‘man up and accept the reality of no take backs’.

It didn’t stop the internal screaming but it certainly made it much quieter.

Internal conflict aside, Lee couldn’t stop himself from openly gaping with several other patrons as Ben single handedly demolished the four foot monstrosity disguising itself as a respectable desert. There was a quiet cheer when Ben finished the last piece of cotton candy and the poor boy started suddenly, realizing that he had gained such an audience. Lee gently clapped him on the shoulder and bade him to wash his hands of the stickiness that clung to his fingers and face.

Once Ben had hurried out of earshot, one such patron leaned over to Lee. It was Axis Mariees, one of Lee’s many recurring customers. “So you went through with your plan of being a parent despite being the third wheel of your crew, eh Pierson?”

Axis Mariees was a plump man with a formidable beard despite the fact that the top of his head was shiny and as hairless as a bald eagle. He also was an incurable gossip.

Lee’s grip on his glass tightened as the silverware by his elbow rattled slightly - a thing only noticeable by the mechanic accustomed to even the most minute of clinks and clanks. He took a deep breath through his nose. “I would prefer my and my charge’s private details to remain that, Mariees, private.”

Mariees leaned back, hands up in the universal sign of surrender. “Woah, Pierson, just wanted to say that the parental look looks good on you.”

Lee’s tense shoulders relaxed only minutely. “And?” he growled through gritted teeth. There was always an ‘and’ with Mariees’ compliments.

“It’s just surprising that the kid’s so… well… normal. Outside of his stomach that is. Kids like him have got to have more baggage than that. ”

Lee stood up, his hand slamming down on the table to mask the fact that the silverware was about to jump off the table and cut somebody. “Don’t you dare say that in my kid’s hearing ever again.” He gritted, face contorted in an expression no one in town had ever seen, one of pure parental rage. Mariees paled as his eyes darted to the blank face Ben had adopted, a few feet behind the rotund man. Lee particularly hated how his vibrant brown eyes had drown distant and ‘dead’ at the man’s insensitiveness.

“In fact,” Lee continued, taking an enraged step forward. “You can seek a mechanic elsewhere. Anyone who insults my kid is no longer welcome at Pierson Auto Repairs. How about you tell that to the city.” He scoped up the bags containing their left overs and walked over to Ben.

Ben was shaking, and it made Lee even angrier. “C’mon, Ben. We still need to get milk.” He said in a much softer tone, gently placing his hand in the small of the youth’s back and guiding Ben forward.

“Are you angry with me Mr. Lee?” Ben asked quietly, his expression hidden by his red curls and the glare of his glasses in the sun.

Lee sighed. “No Ben. I’m not angry at you.”

“But if I hadn’t come you wouldn’t have lost a customer.”

Lee paused at the front of a bench and looked down at his charge. After a second of deliberation he put the bags down and crouched to a much more manageable level of eye contact with Ben.

“Ben… what happened wasn’t your fault, it was my choice and my right to refuse him on that basis. I don’t want you to have to deal with that kind of prejudice in my house - in your home and sanctuary.” He let out a rueful laugh. “And I certainly don’t want any of his type in my shop, so it’s a win for everyone.”

“But what about your income, won’t it hurt-”

Lee ruffled Ben’s red hair and smiled sadly. “Money doesn’t matter in comparison to your happiness, Ben.”

Ben frowned, lip jutting out sullenly. “But you don’t deserve to lose money because of me!” he protested. Lee laughed and shook his head.

“Ben, it was my choice, I knew the consequences. I don’t care. You’re mine until you decide you don’t want me anymore, not the other way around.”

Slowly, Ben deflated and simply hung his head. “…I don’t like it.” He muttered, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. “It seems wrong.”

“Some things are, but sometimes you just have to look past the surface.” Lee flicked Ben in the forehead lightly and stood up, scooping the bags up again. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

Ben stared up at Lee with a scrunched up nose and then let out a disgusted sigh that sounded suspiciously like ‘stupid adults’. Lee let out a huff of laughter and motioned for them to keep going.

***

Somehow, Ben had gotten separated from Lee’s side while wandering the chips isle. It was a little stressful as Ben didn’t have Lee’s number programed in his phone yet and for all Ben knew, the man acting as his guardian could have been on the other side of the store by now. The teen bit his lower lip and continued to pace, having forgotten what he had even been looking for amidst all the chips and bags of things he could never stomach.

“Wow, look at the new kid, pretty lame that you had to run for Pierson to cover your cowering.” An unfamiliar voice came from behind him and halted Ben’s pensive stride in its tracks.

Ben turned around to see three teenage boys, all taler than him by at least a head and dressed causually in ripped jeans and dark hoodies. They didn’t look like much but the way they all carried themselves screamed social and physical annihilation to the noodle armed status of Ben’s muscles. There was no way he’d ever be able to fight them off in a three to one brawl. It also didn’t help that the one in the middle’s presence made Ben’s skin crawl. Despite the fact that the middle one looked too fat to even manage a good solid punch, it put the teen on edge. The middle teen’s watery eyes locked with his own and Ben’s heart began to pound.

“Who’re you?” he demanded, shifting on the balls of his feet, ready to make a break for it towards the front if he had to.

“Aww… is the little fostie scared of little ol’ us?” the one on the left cooed in a mocking tone (Ben would forever and ever call the teen Lefty). Ben hated these types of bullies, they always got on his nerves and were obviously very incompetent. Except… the middle one was far more intelligent than he let on, Ben could sense it.

Also, how had the word spread so fast that he was a foster? It didn’t make sense. …Except that it did. Ben looked closer and the image of Mariees’ shining bald head came into his mind’s view. Great. He had an enemy already and it looked like Junior was out for blood.

Ben clenched his fists by his sides and tried to piece together his best route to safety. “Not particularly I’d just like to know who’s trying to smash my face in. Etiquette n’ all that.” He said, and instantly regretted it as Lefty stepped forward, fist swinging.

Ben tried to jump back, wide eyed but the blow never hit. The red head blinked from his position on the floor to see Mr. Lee glowering at the kids, Lefty’s arm caught in his hand.

“Go before I have you banned from the store for harassing another customer.” The mechanic gritted out, squeezing Lefty’s wrist so tight that the bully let out a whine of pain before being shoved at Righty. Junior scowled but backed off, knowing when he was outmatched. Ben stared at his guardian in awe.

“That was so awesome!”

“Fighting is not awesome, Ben.”

Ben scowled. “I wasn’t fighting! They cornered me!”

“But you edged them on.” Lee countered, staring down at Ben with disapproval. Ben flushed angrily.

“On accident! It’s not like I was looking for trouble, it always finds me!”

Mr. Lee sighed but said nothing to that, instead taking the cart he had brought with him and started walking away. Ben followed after him, sullen and sulking.

A soft crying met his ears, pulling him out of his funk abruptly. It sounded like a kid. A scared kid. Ben couldn’t let a crying kid remain sad, that just wouldn’t be right. Seeking a look at Mr. Lee and seeing the man looking straight ahead, Ben slipped away in the opposite direction of the checkout lines. He could be chewed out later (Gulp), he had a kid to reassure.

It was five aisles over and one section down before Ben found her. It was a little girl about three or four years of age, dressed in a fairy blue tutu and clad with a pair of ice blue fairy wings, curled up in a ball in the corner where the breads and the bagels met. All Ben could really see were the adorable blonde pigtails poking out from behind her ears as she sobbed. Ben paused, scrounging for an icebreaker that would work with such a traumatized child. Fairies… princesses… tutus… hmmm…. He could work with that.

Ben flopped down next to the child dramatically. “Milady, if I may ask, why are you alone?” he eventually ventured and wanted to slap himself. …That hadn't come out exactly how he wanted it to, but it got the child to stop imitating a ball so that was a thing.

"Who're you?" The little child sniffed, not at all wary but in actuality very confused.

"I'm Ben. Can you tell me what's wrong, milady?"

The fairy princess giggled inbetween sniffles of the runny nose type. "You talk funny."

Ben pouted slightly then grinned. "Yup." He agreed wholeheartedly.

"I can't find mommy." The child finally confessed, looking to be about ready to burst into the waterworks again. Just as Ben was about to start some drastic humor measures, the intercom crackled to life.

"If Amy Robinstern could come to check out aisle number seven, her mother is waiting for her. Aisle number seven for Amy Robinstern, please."

Little Amy gasped, clapping her small princess hands together. "That's me! That's me!"

Ben nodded seriously at her. "That's you. Would you like help finding your mom?"

The little girl nodded, taking his hand and pulling him up to his feet impatiently. "Yes! I gots to find mommy! You can be my knight! We banish the meanie dragon together and fights stuff." The child paused. "After we find mommy." She added.

Ben laughed. "Alright milady. Onward, to find the queen!" And then he imitated a horse's neigh, rearing back as if he were truly on a galloping horse. Little Amy gasped, easily catching on and having an absolute blast at pretending horsie with the older youth.

"Queen! Queen!" She cheered and the two 'galloped' slowly down towards the front of the store.   

***

Lee paced near the front, all of the groceries bagged and neatly tucked in specific places of the cart so those heavier would not squish the things that were in a much more delicate state. Everything was in order, so all he needed was Ben. Who had once again, wandered off. If this kept up Lee would need to either hold the boy’s hand or invest in a rather large child harness.

Nearby checkout aisle 7, a woman paced as well. Lee looked over and shared a commiserable look of parental worry over lost children. Suddenly, the woman let out a cry of joy as a little girl loped around a corner, as if riding an invisible horse, her blonde pigtails flying. Right behind her, was Ben. The boy was making equine noises but slowled to a stop as he watched the reunion with a soft wistful smile.

Lee relaxed and wryly shook his head. Of course Ben would have a hand in something like this. Lee looked at Ben and their eyes met. The youth froze and opened his mouth to say something. But Lee would never know what Ben was going to say in that exact moment as the child’s mother chose to engulf Ben in a hug, leaving Ben to squawk at the suddenness of the movement.

“Thank you for finding Amy.” the woman said after pulling away and Ben’s face flushed.

“I-It was nothing Mrs. Robinstern. I just heard her crying and I had to help.”

“Mr. Pierson your son is a good man.”

Both Lee and Ben choked with differing severity. Mrs. Robinstern patted Ben on the back with a look of absolute concern as he bent over with some rather harsh coughs while Lee merely coughed once in his hand before uttering a strained “Thank you.”

The woman smiled, having ascertained that neither male was going to fall over dead and took Amy’s hand. “Thank you again, Ben.” she called as she lead the little girl out of the store, Amy babbling about dragons and knights and other such fantastical adventures she would have. After lunch of course because she was hungry.

It left both Ben and Lee in a rather awkward position however. Lee shifted slightly. “You… you’re always welcome to call me Dad - if you want.” he added quickly at the look of consternation on Ben’s face.

“I… I don’t think I’m ready right now, Mr. Lee.” Ben said frankly. “I’ll… maybe I’ll consider it later, though.”

Lee nodded, conceeding the point. “Fair enough.” he agreed. “Now how about we go home, there’s been enough adventure for one day.”

Ben didn’t look at him but nodded all the same. “...Yeah. Yeah, let’s go home.”

So they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song - As You Go by Red


	3. You Look Down On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finally heads to school and deals with all it implies, Lee is overprotective and worried about the effects of his choice in Samai's Fireraised Pizza and some OCs are introduced by necessity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I said OCs (please don't run away they're nice I promise!). They're necessary due to there not being a lot of backstory (as of me writing this fic) with either Ben OR Lee. We know from the character sheets (and minicomic) that some of Lee's friend(s?) will be showing up in present canon in some form or another. I'm unsure with Ben if any friends from HIS past will show. Ergo, the OCs.
> 
> Monksarecool - Alex Lawson  
> Kingsway253 - Isaac Golshan  
> Magicalscholar7 - Tambry “Tam” Rillard  
> Asmsauce - Ben Saunders
> 
> Also, this chapter did NOT want to be written which is why it took so long to complete. I hope everyone enjoyed it!

 

Anxiety pooled in Ben’s stomach, like it always had when he was faced with the prospect of starting over with a new school. It didn’t help that it was in the middle of the year, where everyone was already locked into their friend groups and cliques. It was practically nauseating, this prospect of climbing an impassable wall. 

Judging from the concerned looks Mr. Lee was tossing him from the rearview mirror, Ben figured his face was turning more than a bit green. But the teen merely swallowed down the nausea threatening him and steadfastly looked out the window at all the passing scenery. Maybe if he ignored the destination, he wouldn’t feel so sick. So far, it wasn’t working. Trying to not think about not thinking just made the thoughts swirl around his head faster, like a swarm of frenzied bees. 

 _You’ll never fit in_. Anxiety told him. _It’s too late in the year, nobody wants you sticking your nose into their groups. You’ll be all alone and_ friendless _. No one wan’t a transitionary friend - who knows when you’ll leave again._

And that was the crux of it. Ben was always leaving friends behind, falling out of contact and never managing to make long connections. It didn’t matter if he stayed here in Nowheretown for a month or two months, or even a year. He’d just move anyways so why bother?

…Oh who was he kidding? Ben would always try to make friends, even when the inevitable pain of separation hit like a tidal wave, and he would regret the friendships he had made. He just… He wanted friendships that would _last_ , friends that would jump over the edge of the abyss just to get his rear out of the fire. Ben wanted friends who would stick by him, who would claw their way into his heart and refuse to leave. But… that horrid fear of being alone? It had been his reality for the past eight years, ever since he had become chained to the system.

The car slowed to a stop in front of the school, a bustling hive of education, drama and social rules that Ben could hardly make heads or tails of. The fourteen year old took in a deep breath, his hands tightening around his backpack’s black straps. He could do this. 

Mr. Lee turned around, dark brown eyes boring into Ben’s. “You going to be okay?” Concern was etched all over the man’s face. “You can always wait another day if you’re not ready for this.”

Ben flushed, stomach churning. “No, I’m fine.” Except that he wasn’t in fact, Ben wanted to throw up, but he soldiered on with grim determination. “I already got a week, another day would be missing too much.Best to get it over with sooner than later - like a bandaid, right?” 

Mr. Lee looked at him, his face unreadable. Then the man nodded slowly. “If you’re sure.” He said. 

Ben nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.” _Not really_. Bandaid. It was like ripping off a bandaid, he reminded himself. He didn’t move. Mr. Lee raised his eyebrow and Ben grinned like an idiot. Move body, move! He didn’t move at all. Maybe a twitch, but over all Ben did nothing. His hand was stuck on the car’s handle. 

Then the bell rang and Ben gave out a loud shriek. “Oooohhhh nooooo!” he yelped, scrambling to open the door. “BYMR.LEEI’LLSEEYOUAFTERSCHOOL!” 

He barely heard the huff of Mr. Lee’s laughter before the door had slammed shut and he hurried himself to his first class, digging his crumpled schedule out of his pocket. This was so not the start of a good day. 

 ***

Lee was nervous. His hands were sweating. It hadn’t occurred to him that Eric, Cam and Maes might be angry at him for losing Mariees’ service. Mariees paid well, and with how the economy was faring… well… They were all a little strapped for cash. It would be reasonable if they were angry with him. But if they were angry at him things would get a little… intense and Lee knew he didn’t have enough control from causing another ‘poltergeist’ incident. 

Being a human magnet in an auto repair shop was just asking for someone to be impaled. And that wouldn’t look good on his resume, or his own psyche. It would be best if he just… If he what? Quit work? Didn’t come in? Left town? 

None of those things would fix his problems. It was the coward’s way out, and Lee wasn’t a coward. At least, not in this. He would just have to deal with what his coworkers threw at him and hope for the best. 

Lee took in a deep breath and stepped into the shop. 

“Lee!” came a boisterous voice from his left and a weathered brown arm was casually slung around the younger mechanic’s neck and shoulder. “Glad you could make it!”

“Hello, Maes.” Lee greeted, trying to calm his racing heart and refusing to look the older mechanic in the eye. Despite being so old, Maes could still benchpress Lee into the ground. 

“Lee? Lee’s here?” A wiry form rolled out from underneath a car, spattered with oil. Grey blue eyes blinked owlishly up at the other two mechanics before a wide toothy grin split his face. “Hey Eric, did you hear that? Lee finally showed up!” 

Lee couldn’t help but tense at the call. It was like he was being walked to the executioner’s block instead of farther into work. Dread sank deep in his stomach and he had to take a deep breath. The vibrations hidden by the rest of the shop’s noise faded away. He had to stay calm. 

He should have just gone straight home after dropping Ben off. It would have saved him a lot of undue stress. 

Eric walked out of the accounting office, a soft smile on his face. “Hey Lee.” he said before moving over to inspect the car that Cam was working on. Lee stared at them then at Maes. 

“You… You guys aren’t mad?” he said, hesitating. Maes let out a bark of amused laughter but said nothing for a moment, nodding towards Eric who was wiping at Cam’s oil stained face with a wet rag to the blond’s protests. 

“Do we look angry to you, Lee?” the older man asked. Lee shook his head. 

“No. But you should be - I lost a good paying customer and with the economy-” 

“Lee if we were angry with you we would have let you know the minute we found out - Eric!” Cam spluttered, batting the rag away with an oil covered hand. “Eric, I’m just going to get dirty again anyways stop putting that rag in my face! You are such a, a mom!” 

“You never clean up after yourself.” Eric muttered darkly and Cam scowled back at him.

“Well yeah this is a mechanics’ shop, it’s kinda in the job description. We’re supposed to get all dirty.” 

Lee leaned against the wall and watched the two senior mechanics squabble with a slightly dazed expression on his face. Maes settled in beside him with a groan. Lee grimaced in sympathy, the old man’s joints must be aching at this point. 

“You know, if you asked me - I would say that you were right in letting Mariees go.” Maes said in a conspiring fashion. Lee shot him a startled look. 

“He was driving me nuts! I couldn’t say anything around the guy!” Cam butted in, having escaped the clutches of Eric for a brief while. “He’d take it and twist my words until they turned white and backwards!” 

“When are you going to bring that kid of yours around, anyways?” Eric said from behind Cam. This spooked Cam so much that the blond had jumped three feet in the air with a girlish shriek before he realized it was just his coworker. 

Lee shrugged his shoulders. “Whenever he’s comfortable with the idea, I suppose.” 

Cam leaned forward. “When do you think that’ll be?” he asked, eagerness rich in his tone. 

“I don’t know, Cam. It’s all up to Ben.” 

“I don’t think he’d be comfortable with seeing _your_ ugly mug for a while.” Maes teased.

Cam sulked while the other mechanics laughed at his expense. Lee cracked a smile, his shoulders relaxing. “So what’s up with the car?” he asked, nodding towards the car Cam had been under when Lee had arrived. 

The blond let out a sigh. “Just a routine oil change and a problem with the brakes. Idiot didn’t get the clutch cables maintained.” 

Lee nodded. “An easy fix. You need any help?” 

Cam rubbed the back of his neck. “Well… Maes is getting kinda too old to spot me if a car falls - no offense.” He shot the senior mechanic an apologetic look. 

“None taken, it’s true. My joints aren’t like they used to.” Maes shrugged. 

“Don’t worry Cam, I can spot you.” Lee smirked, relieved that he could actually do something. The blond let out a small cheer, fist punching the air. Laughter filled the shop again. 

 ***

**_Kingsway253_ logged into The Gamers High Council at …10:43 AM…**

 

**Magicalscholar7:** hey 

**Monksarecool:** morning Kingy 

**Kingsway253:** don’t call me that

**Monksarecool:** well its your NAME so i can call you whatever.

**Magicalscholar7:** pfffffft

**Kingsway253:** not funny, Alex.so new guy in town, any intel?

**Monksarecool:** nope, havent seen him 

**Magicalscholar7:** well, he wasn’t in my first period, but i’ve heard that he ran up some trouble our friendly neighborhood bully wannabies 

**Magicalscholar7:** and for all we know he COULD be a she. 

**Monksarecool:** Tambro, it’s been confirmed that he is a he

**Magicalscholar7:** yeah by jerks like mini-Greed. Dunno bout you but that’s kinda unreliable to me. who’d wanna be known to be beaten by a GIRL.

**Monksarecool:** it was one time! give me a break lady!

**Kingsway253:** so the new kid’s a rogue type then

**Magicalscholar7:** maybe, maybe not. Liz says that Pierson finally refused to cater to the Father of Greed’s automobile needs though 

**Monksarecool:** wait, seriously? that was a thing????  >.<;; didn’t know the dude had guts 

**Kingsway253:** you’re joking. Pierson grow a backbone? is there brimstone falling from the sky, the game disconnecting from the servers and sucking all the players in, leaving us to fend for ourselves in a strange video game world full of weird game control mechanics?

**Monksarecool:** …wat?

**Magicalscholar7:** seriously? 

**Kingsway253:** that got away from me, yeah 

**Kingsway253:** anyways, back to the new kid. what do you think he’s like? 

**Magicalscholar7:** oh i don’t know, i havent met him yet, genius. why are we even speculating this anyways?

**Monksarecool:** are you kidding?? This is the newest thing thats happened in like… 

**Monksarecool:** um. uh, guys gotta go. Teach is looking really mad right now and

_\- Monksarecool has gone inactive -_  

**Kingsway253:** c’mon Alex… 

**Kingsway253:** why are you even taking the risk of your phone being taken away when you’re in Kornwal’s room? 

**Magicalscholar7:** because he hates having his tech cut off? admit it, you’d be doing the same thing 

**Kingsway253:** well yeah… but if his phone’s confiscated he’s kinda sunk. that’s his third time. Mama Alex is going to be ticked 

**Magicalscholar7:** he could have hidden it in time, we won’t know until lunch 

**Kingsway253:** ugh yeah, do you wanna call it or should i?

**Magicalscholar7:** i can do it. even though it’s Alex’s job

**Magicalscholar7:** hear ye, hear ye, this meeting is now called, spanning the time of fifteen minutes. We shall reconvene in 4 minutes hence 

**Kingsway253:** thanks, Tam. See you at lunch?

**Magicalscholar7:** duh. See ya at the usual spot. 

 

**_Magicalscholar7_ logged off The Gamers High Council at …11:02 AM…**

 

The teen known in some circles as Kingsway243 (and in others as Isaac Golshan) discretely shut his gamekid and eyed the clock. Only three more minutes until the bell would ring, releasing them all from the torture that was Pre Algebra. 

Isaac let out a sigh and rested his cheek on the desk. He couldn’t wait for class to end. 

*** 

So far, Ben’s day hadn’t been half bad. It had just been… lonely. His battered DS was like a heavy stone in his pocket. He’d had it for so long, the games that were coming out _now_ were quickly outrunning his DS’ capabilities. He had viewed his DS as a precious treasure but when he compared it to what the other kids had, it looked like trash. Apparently there was a 3D version of the DS, and a new software for the GameKid was coming out. Ben would be forever stuck on his battered first generation. 

Ben understood it. It’s not like his foster parents were ever made of money, and even if they were, Ben knew they wouldn’t blow it on something so trivial. But… It wasn’t trivial to Ben, his entire life was composed of games. Games were the constant in his ever changing life. They didn’t leave him, never abandoned him. In games, he had true companions, people who would die for him, stick with him through thick and thin.  

It was for this reason that even though Ben hated how outdated his DS was, he didn’t hate the device in of itself. It was his gateway, his portal to realms unknown and often unexplored. His DS let him be the hero, gave him control and an escape. 

It let him ignore the fact that while everyone was very friendly, no one had offered to let him sit with them. Maybe it was because of that confrontation in the grocery store, or maybe even the fact that Mr. Lee had stood up for him and lost a customer. Ben was alone. He looked around the crowded cafeteria, hefted his backpack higher up on his shoulders and looked for somewhere to sit. 

 ***

**_Monksarecool_ logged onto The Gamers High Council at - - 12:14 PM - - **

 

**Magicalscholar7:** holy crap, he’s adorable!

**Monksarecool:** huh? 

**Kingsway253:** apparently Tam’s into the whole angsty loner type

**Magicalscholar7:** i am NOT!

**Magicalscohlar7:** he just… looks like a wounded puppy! what with the sad face, the cute glasses, how he’s cradling that old battered DS to his chest… 

**Kingsway253:** @Monksarecool 

**Kingsway253:** dude 

**Kingsway253:** Alex save me!

**Kingsway253:** she’s sighing with this weird sappy look on her face

**Kingsway253:** i think she’s actually drooling!

**Monksarecool:** dude you’re on your own 

**Monksarecool:** i’ll stay over by the lunch line 

**Monksarecool:** thanks tho

**Kingsway253:** traitor

**Magicalscholar7:** AFLKSJDFJLKASDKFKDAFLKASKDAJIDOJFL!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Magicalscholar7:**!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!

**Kingsway253:** ALEX SAVE ME 

**Kingsway253:** SAVE ME AND MY RINGING EAAAARRRRS

**Monksarecool:** what did she even do? screech right into them?

**Magicalscholar7:** AJLDKFJAKLFJ HE’S COMING THIS WAY!!!!!!11!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Kingsway253:** yes 

**Kingsway253:** yes she did and it HURT

**Kingsway253:** @Magicalscholar7  ????

**Kingsway253:** WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE SUCH A LOUD SCREECH????

**Monksarecool:** awwww does the Kingy have a headache?

**Kingsway253:** shut up Alex you mock my pain

**Monksarecool:** so where is this dude anyways? And who is he????

**Magicalscholar7:** i dunno, but he’s ADORABLE AND I WANT HIM

**Kingsway253:** I have NO clue

**Monksarecool:** … ooookaaaaay then. …carry on while I sit over here, like a not crazy person

**Magicalscholar7:** OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH 

**Magicalscholar7:** HE’S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO OUR TABLE!!!!1!!!1!!!!!!!!!1!

**Kingsway253:** wait…

**Monksarecool:** he doesn’t look all that special to ME

**Monksarecool:** *eyes the dude suspiciously*

**Monksarecool:** and what’s upwith the DS? Is he too scared to come to school without it?

**Magicalscholar7:** …you do know that could be applied to you, right?

**Monksarecool:** well YEAH but Angelina ain’t just going to fall apart if I press a button wrong

**Monksarecool:** his looks like it’s 10 sec from crumbling to kingdom come

**Kingsway253:** guys… i think we underestimated the new guy with all our WMG

**Monksarecool:** wait you’re not saying…

**Magicalscholar7:** ASDLAJDFKLJDKLADKAJDJAKLDFJ I’M GOING TO SAY HI RIGHT NOW

**Kingsway253:** Tam, wait-

 

_Magicalscholar7 has gone inactive_

 

**Kingsway253:** …

**Monksarecool:** …

**Monksarecool:** …should I start drafting up a character sheet? 

**Kingsway253:** I

**Kingsway253:** you know what

**Kingsway253:** why not?

**Monksarecool:** on it boss

 

_Monksarecool has gone inactive._

*** 

Ben glanced up from his DS in time to see an African American girl clad in varying shades of orange come barreling over to his table, bushy brown hair flying every which way. 

“HI!” she said, slamming herself down on an available seat. “My name’s Tambry Rillard, what’s your name?”

Ben stared at her outstretched hand, his mind a startled blank. “Um.”  

Her grin didn’t falter, only grew wider. “Is that an original DS? Those are super expensive now, when did you get it?”

“Uh…” Ben’s mind scrambled to answer her. “When they first came out?” 

Her eyes grew wide. “Whoaaaah! That’s amazing!” Ben could easily see sparkling stars in those brown depths. 

“I um… yeah… I guess…” he shuffled slightly in place before sucking in a breath. “I’m Ben. Ben Saunders.” They shook hands. 

Ben though it was impossible, but Tambry’s grin grew even wider. “Hiya Ben! Do you want to sit by us?” Ben looked over to where she gestured and saw the two teens sitting at the table. The lighter skinned teen was feverishly scribbling at something, barely stopping to take a bite out of his lunch. His blond hair was practically a curtain, hiding his face from view.

The other, dustier skinned teen was looking right at them and the look from under dark frames made Ben want to sink below the table and never come out. It was a mixture of calculation and pity and the red head hated it. It was also rather intimidating on that dusty brown face on intensity alone, so Ben was more than a little freaked out. But this was also the first time that someone had invited Ben over, and it was nice not being alone. 

So Ben buckled up his courage and said, “…Okay.” He was grateful that he had managed to grab his DS and tuck it in his pocket, when the girl grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him along. He had just enough time to grab his backpack before his table left his range. But soon enough, she let go and Ben was left to walk on his own. 

“So what kind of games do you play?” she asked, practically skipping. 

“Uh… m-mostly Heroes of Fortune, it’s the only game I have that works on this.” He patted the pocket that held his DS.

Tambry turned sharply towards him, mouth open. “You have _Heroes of Fortune_?” she squeaked out. Ben nodded. 

“OH MY GOSH!” she bounced a little in place. “That’s like, like the game that _started_ Torrential Heirs!” 

A squeal escaped her mouth after that and Ben had to rub at his ringing ears with a wince. 

“Tam stop deafening the poor kid!” the teen that wasn’t madly scribbling scowled, rubbing his own ears. “It’s not polite.” 

“Oh don’t be like that, Isaac!” Tambry protested. “Ben’s fine - aren’t you Ben?”

The girl pulled him to her side and put her hand on his shoulder to keep him there. All Ben could do was stammer. 

Isaac looked between the two of them and sighed. “Why don’t you both sit down, lunch is almost over.”

But before Ben could act upon the invitation, a very familiar call made him cringe. “Well lookie here, all the losers in one place.”

Oh great, it was _Junior._ Ben let out a resigned sigh, leaning against the table. Maybe this time he’d be able to avoid crashing to the floor. 

From the corner of the red head’s eye, he could see Isaac scowling darkly. “Buzz off, Blake.” He growled.

Junior tilted his head with an amused smile, one promising pain and humiliation. “I don’t think you have the social standing to order me around, terrorist.” 

There was stunned silence then the entire table erupted into pandemonium. 

“That was uncalled for!” Tambry slammed her hands down on the table, enraged and uncaring at the attention she was drawing towards their table.

“He’s not even from the Middle East!” the boy who had previously been scribbling away added, pencil clenched so tightly that it was threatening to snap. 

Ben could only stare at Junior, stunned by how _idiotic_ this kid really was. “Did you really just say that?” he asked, barely able to hear anything over the roar in his ears and the angered rants that Tambry was going off on. 

Junior smirked, cold and condescending. “I can say what I want.” His tone turned lofty, “It’s a free country after all, with free speech and everything.”

“That amendment talks about the freedom for civil discourse, discussions and criticisms of the government. It doesn’t talk about the right to be crude and inconsiderate.” Ben didn’t even recognize his own voice, it was so different from anything he usually said. “What you just said, it was cruel, unfounded and completely racist.” 

Junior’s face was turning a strange mix of red and purple. Ben stumbled as the other teen’s fist wrapped around his collar and pulled him close. “What did you say?” Junior growled, other fist raised threateningly. 

Ben gulped, all his suave words failing him in that instance and stammered. _Please don’t punch me, please don’t punch me!_ He mentally pleaded. 

“Okay, that’s _it._ ” Ben heard Tambry say and a strange noise akin to popping knuckles made him cringe. 

“Guys break it up, a teacher’s coming!” one of Junior’s cronies said, voice full of the desperation of a student who had too many detentions on his record. 

Junior shoved Ben towards the table, only to be caught by Tambry. “This isn’t over, losers.” He threatened, turning to walk away. 

Ben let out a noise that was halfway between a groan and a sigh. “Well that went well.” 

“You have pretty words but they don’t fare well in a real fight.” Isaac snorted and Ben pouted at his fellow bespectacled teen. 

Tambry leaned over and smacked him on the shoulder with a scolding, “Isaac! Be nice!”

Isaac scowled at Tambry before softening. “…Thanks. For, you know.” He said grudgingly. But Ben could tell that he really meant it and beamed back at him. 

“So, guys guess what Ben here plays!” Tambry butted in before Ben could say anything. 

Ben ducked his head, a light blush on his cheeks. 

“What?” the blond and only other Caucasian in the group looked up from that sheet. 

“Heroes of Fortune!”Tambry practically squealed and Isaac jerked back as if he had been burned, hands clamped over his ears. 

“Warn me next time you do that!” he practically snarled. Ben hid his snigger behind a cough despite his own ringing ears. 

The blond was staring dumbstruck at him. “Seriously?” the teen asked.

Ben nodded. “Yeah. It’s practically the only game I have.” He said, feeling suddenly sheepish. 

The blond grabbed at Ben’s hands and held them, gazing up at Ben reverently. “I will _pay you_ to let me play that game.” 

“Uh…” 

Tambry jumped in again. “Oh! You haven’t been formally introduced!” She poked at Isaac who pushed away her hand with a scowl. “This is Isaac Golshan, our supreme overlord of the Gamer’s High Council.” She pointed at the blond. “And that’s Alex Lawson.” 

Alex nodded rapidly. “Yup that’s me!” 

“He’s a dork, don’t mind him.” Tambry added. 

Alex was beginning to nod to that too then paused, processing the words. “Hey! I resemble that remark!”

“It’s resent, Alex.” The whole table chorused. 

Ben bit back a snicker. He could learn to love being in this group, if they let him stay. 

Isaac leaned forward. “Now that you’ve been introduced, how about signing up for the Gamer’s High Council?”

“Wait… you mean that’s an actual thing, not just a joke?” Ben asked, brain stalling. 

“Well technically it’s a guild not a club but we’re working on forming it into an actual club funded by the school!” Tambry said.

Alex muttered something about it being an affront to gamers to not call themselves a guild even in real life. Ben felt a grin growing on his face. 

“You’re really asking me to join your guild?” he asked, nearly giddy. 

“ _Club_ and yes, yes we are.” Tambry said. 

Ben stared, then nodded so hard it felt like his head would fall off. “Yes. Yes I would love to be in your guild!” 

“Great! Welcome to the Gamer’s High Council!” Isaac smirked, and it was a warm expression that made his face look less… scary. 

Tambry cheered. “This is going to be so _awesome_!” 

 ***

Lee glanced up when the car door slammed shut. “So, how was your first day?” he asked. 

Ben grinned at him, practically vibrating with cheer and excitement. “It was _great_! Well… it didn’t start out that way but by the end it was awesome so that kind of makes up for the not so greatness of the morning. Lee, I have found my people!” Declaring this, the boy flopped back and rested his head against the chair. 

Lee chuckled. “That’s great, Ben.” 

The car roared to life underneath his hands and they were off. A light easy silence fell over the car, one that could be easily broken if necessary. Slowly, Ben’s humming started to fill the silence, but at one point the boy hummed too high and his voice cracked, causing a hasty retreat into lower notes. 

This was what Lee had pictured when he had signed up to be a Foster Parent. This quiet camaraderie, how easy it was to picture them being a family. The only thing missing was, well.. A mom. 

But Lee had seen that ship sail on without him, his own cowardice keeping his feet locked onto the pier. He had a chance, had he had blown it by never saying anything. And when he had beaten that fear of rejection down to a manageable level, she had said well… 

_“Just friends, huh? T-That’s okay… Um, consider these as a gift from a friend, then. Are… are we okay still? I didn’t mean to upset you with… you know…”_

_“Oh Lee you didn’t have to! Of course we’ll be friends still, this hasn’t changed that!”_

And then, despite her promise, she had left him behind. It was as if he had been cursed to be alone. But Ben had come, and now Lee knew that he _wasn’t_ alone. He had a family, not exactly like he had imagined, but it was a family nonetheless. And yes, they were a bit broken, but they were still good. So what if there wasn’t a mother figure, Lee would make sure Ben got enough care and love to fill that gap. 

“Hey Lee?” Ben broke through Lee’s thoughts like a warm knife cutting through butter.

“Yeah?”

“So… what would wrack up enough money soon enough to earn a GameKid?”

“If you do your chores for a month it should be enough.” And if it wasn’t, well… Lee could cover the rest. 

“Cool.” Lee saw Ben stretch slightly from his slouch. “In a month then! That’s faster than I thought!” 

 ***

**_Asmsauce_ has logged on to The Gamers High Council at - - 4:27 PM - - **

 

**Asmsauce:** Hey guys! Guess who finally got Torrential Heirs!

**Monksarecool:** look who showed up! 

**Magicalscholar7:** HI BEN!!!!!!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME!!!

**Kingsway253:** glad to have you with us, Ben. ready to do a raid?

**Asmsauce:** You know it! I’m your thief!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Don't You Dare Forget the Sun by Get Scared


	4. The World Outside is Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Ben has a tough two weeks before finals, Lee finds that you can't outrun your friends and the Past comes a-knockin' for both of them with differing but still painful results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of Ben whump in this chapter and the next one, so sorry about that... But thing'll get better, this story is about happy endings!

Lee turned the newspaper page with the ease of a man well used to the intricacies of backward printing, eyes casually picking up where he had left off. A pensive frown crossed his lips, making his youthful face seem much older than it was. The world was becoming a dangerous place, it was as if evil was taking note of the majority’s apathy and running the gauntlet with the bare minimum of competition do gooders brought. 

The tea kettle whistled, loud and shrill in it’s own attention grabbing way. The mechanic let out a sigh, and sat the newspaper down onto the table as he got up from his seat. While heading over to the stove, Lee glanced up at the timer. It read: 20:09. Basically only twenty minutes left. 

With a content hum to himself, he grabbed the kettle and poured hot water into a mug, where a green tea bag was waiting for him. He sat the kettle on a hot pad and turned off the stove top. Content for the moment, Lee leaned back against the counter and reflected. 

The last three month had been… interesting. Having another person in his home was a change, but he had already made peace with that. Or at least, he had thought he had made peace with it. Lee had never realized how cold his home had seemed without another’s warmth. Where spaces hadn’t seemed lived in, now were teaming with life. Even if… some of the evidences of life could be lived without. 

Lee pushed himself off the counter and started to gather up the many miscellaneous ramen cups that had found themselves in rather odd corners all around the dinning and living rooms. The cups began to resemble more and more like a tower with every cup that the mechanic picked up. One, two, four, six, _ten_ … Lee shook his head. He really needed to talk to Ben about taking care of his own snacks. This was no way a fourteen year old should act. 

Although… it was a rather nice sign in a round about manner. Ben was pushing the line of what he could and could not do. So it stood to reason that the youth was beginning to trust Lee. Or at least… Lee hoped. 

He tossed the ramen cups into the trash and glanced at the clock. 6:29 minutes to go, and his green tea was going to be rather bitter. It would need a lot of honey. 

Lee sighed and rubbed at his face. Time slipped by, faster than he ever thought it would. When he had been alone… time seemed to crawl. But now, with Ben’s innate cheer shining through, time seemed to race along. He couldn’t believe it had been three months already. 

_“I wanna hold your haaaaannnd…”_

Lee started, nearly dropping the jar of honey he had been handling. His eyes flashed over to where his phone lay vibrating on the counter. His heart beat quickened. Hands suddenly clammy, Lee had to set the jar down before he truly did drop it. 

_“I wanna hold your haaaaannnd…”_

He stared at his phone as it rang again, vibrating it’s way nearer and nearer to the edge of the counter. The caller ID told him what he already knew. It was from Ana. 

They had never really talked over the phone, after that fateful revelation on Valentine’s day. Despite what she had told him, things had never been the same between them. And since she never called, he had never changed the ringtone attributed to her. He never expected that those words would bring such pain to his recovering heart, that it would be like stabs of agony with every cheerful (wistful) line that repeated. 

Lee could hardly breathe, it hurt so much. Still, his hand reached for the device that was causing him so much pain. 

_“I wanna hold your haaaaannnd…”_

Why… why was she calling him _now_? Lee’s eyes widened as the phone decided it had had enough of his panicked stalling and made a suicide jump off the counter. The mechanic was still too far to catch the device even as he dived for it. _For once in your life just work like you’re supposed to!_ Lee thought savagely. Then suddenly, the phone was in his hand and he was on the floor. 

Lee’s breath left his chest with a winded ‘OOOF!’ and he laid there for a minute, still trying to gather his wits about him. 

_“I wanna hold your haaaaannnd…”_

Lee clutched the phone tighter in his hands. “Ana! Hi! Wow, it’s been a long time since we…”he trailed off. No, that was stupid. That was a stupid way to start the conversation. Bad idea Lee. 

He tried again. “This is Lee, how can I help you-” Mmmmnope. That wasn’t it either. Too informal. He didn’t want her to think that he had _forgotten_ her.

_“I wanna hold your haaaaannnd…”_

It was the final ringtone. Should he just let it go to voicemail? Or should he answer it? The phone vibrated, almost as if in warning and Lee took a shuddering breath and held it to his ear. 

“Um…” 

Ana laughed on the other end of the phone. “Lee Pierson, you haven’t changed at all!”

Lee shifted so he was leaning on his arm, not laying flat on the ground. “Ana! Hi! I um… uh…”

“It’s good to hear you too, Lee. It’s been way too long!”

“It has.” He agreed quietly. She sounded… happy. Even happier than when she had told him that Sterling had asked her out finally. His heart ached at the memory. He shifted slightly. “So how have you been since graduation?”

“I’ve been great! I heard you got a really great job at the local mechanic’s shop, how has that worked out?” Ana prodded him eagerly, her voice a cheerful hum in his ear. 

Lee sat up and thought of how Maes had clasped his shoulder in solidarity, of how Cam trusted him to keep the car off him for long enough that his life would be saved and how after that Eric had chased both of them down with a clean rag… Lee couldn’t help the soft smile spreading across his face. 

“It’s been great.” He told her honestly. “My coworkers are amazing.” 

“That’s great Lee! I’m glad things are working for you!”

Lee’s smile widened at the enthusiasm that was in her voice. “I am too.” He took a deep breath and bolstered his courage, “I’m a foster parent now.” He admitted. 

“Oh Lee, that’s wonderful! I always knew you would be a great father some day!” 

Lee’s heart stuttered to a stop and he had to fight the urge to cry out as his heart began to beat again in agonized sets. “Yeah… he’s an amazing kid, I’m lucky to have him.” 

“I’m glad.” She said softly, her voice a warm cadence to his ear. She hesitated. “Lee… the reason I was calling is, well…” 

Lee’s eyes narrowed. “What is it?” he asked cautiously. 

“Sterling asked me to marry him.” The words came out in a nervous rush and each one felt like a knife to his chest. 

There was a small pause as Lee tried to gather his wits about him. “What did you say?” he managed to finally say through all the pain. 

“I… I… He made it this huge elaborative thing! It was all very romantic, it was very sweet of him. I couldn’t just say no…” All of Ana’s cheer was gone, replaced with this strange shyness. 

Lee closed his eyes. “Ana, do you love him?” he asked, despite it not being what he wanted to say - or know. 

“Of course I do Lee! We’ve been dating for five years now! I’d have to love him to stay that long!” she said hotly. 

Lee gave out a weak smile despite knowing that she would never see it. “Then you have nothing to worry about.” He said gently, his heart breaking all over again. 

“I… thank you Lee. You always know just what to say.” She breathed, sounding shaky but quickly regaining her cheer. 

“You’re welcome Ana.” Lee said, fighting the urge to cry.

“Um… I was wondering… Would you be my Man of Honor? I-I know it’s usually a position reserved for girls but… none of my other friends are as close to me as you are.” 

Lee pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it blankly for a few seconds. Ana was still talking, he could hear her very faintly. 

“Lee? Lee are you there? If you don’t want to you don’t have to-”

Lee put the phone back up to his ear. “Of course I’ll be your Man of Honor.” He said gently, warmth filling his chest to mingle with the pain - making it the most bitter of bittersweet things he had ever experienced. “It’s, well it would be an _honor_ to fill that role.” 

Ana breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh thank you, Lee! Thank you! You don’t know how relieved I am!”

Lee nodded. “I know.” 

“I… I have to go, Sterling will be home soon. Thank you so much, Lee. I’ll talk to you latter, alright?”

“Alright.” He weakly said. 

She was gone. All Lee could do was curl up tighter and place his head in his hands. “I am. Such. An _idiot_.” He was a fool to have kept hoping for a chance. Even when he knew she was gone, he had still hoped… And look where that hope had gotten him - hurt, stuck in the role of Man of Honor. Still… if she was happy, and if it was what she wanted, well… Lee could never begrudge her. He would do anything for her, stomp on his own heart if he had to, just to make sure she was happy. Anything at all… That fact didn’t make the tears go away. 

The shrill alarm of the oven’s timer going off made him start. 

Ah yes, the scones. Those would taste horrible burned. Lee couldn’t get up. He didn’t want to. So he did the next best thing. 

With a gesture, the oven door was open and the two trays ladened with two different batches of scones (chocolate and blueberry) were floating a bit wobbly up onto the stove top. 

“Whoooooah! Lee you never told me you had _superpowers!_ ” 

For the third time that day, Lee jumped. The trays hit the stove with a clatter but thankfully, no scones were harmed in the loss of control. 

Lee turned to look at his charge, heart in his throat. “B-Ben!” 

There was an unreadable look on Ben’s face, his curly bangs hiding his expressive eyes and Lee was suddenly very, very afraid. 

 ***

Ben awoke to the most glorious smell in the universe. It smelt like he had woken up in a _bakery_! It made his mouth water just imagining what was down in the kitchen. Was it cake? Ooohhhh… Ben hoped it was cake, though why would there be a baking cake - it wasn’t anyone’s birthays yet. At least, he thought so. It wasn’t Lee’s birthday, was it? 

He hoped not. Ben had wanted to actually get Lee a present this year if at all possible. The idea that it was his guardian’s birthday and the man hadn’t told him made Ben very upset. It was an testament of how upset he was that he didn’t even make it halfway off his bed before finding his upper body plastered to the ground, legs tangled up in his bedsheets and butt in the air between the two. 

The boy wiggled, kicking his legs in an attempt to get the blankets off him. But they were wrapped so firmly around him it was like a mermaid thrashing upon the beach. It left him panting and even more exhausted then when he first woke up. Ben groaned into the carpet. He would get untangled, he _would_! He just… had to figure out how to do that first. 

Twisting, he glared at the cloth keeping him imprisoned. The delicious smells were making his stomach growl and he had no time to dally if he wanted a hot breakfast before school. Curling up awkwardly so Ben could reach his feet, the boy tugged at the sheets. Slowly, he was able to tease himself free from the confines of what should have stayed on his bed. 

The minute his legs were free, Ben uncurled from his ball and cheered. That uncurling caused him to begin the roll, and he soon found himself flat on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. He stayed that way for another minute, just trying to regain his breath from the entire incident. 

His stomach growled, a reminder of just what exactly woke him. He took a deep inhale of the warm sweet scent that was most definitely coming from the kitchen. Whatever it was (hopefully _not_ cake because then Ben would be sad for gift giving reasons) smelt delicious. And Ben was _hungry_.

With a yawn, the teen hefted himself up off the floor and dusted his clothes off. He stretched a bit then slipped out of him room and toward the stairs. Ben found himself humming a cheerful tune under his breath as he practically bounded down the stairs. 

He padded down the hall, just in time to catch the wind end of a conversation. 

“Alright.” 

It was Lee. But… he sounded… sad. The sound of something hard clattering against the floor met Ben’s ears. But it was the shaky but sharp inhale that settled it. Was… Was Lee _crying_? 

Ben slowly tip toed closer and peered around the corner. Lee was sitting in the middle of the kitchen with his head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking, in time with the deep sobs. 

“I am. Such. An _idiot_.”

Did… Did something come up? Would Ben have to leave? Ben didn’t want to go. He had made friends and Lee had promised. But Lee was devastated. And having to let go of someone you cared about would be devastating to anybody. Dread filled his stomach and so Ben froze before he could truly enter the kitchen. 

The shrill alarm of the oven’s timer made both of them jump. But what happened next was something that Ben would have never expected. Lee gestured weakly over at the oven, face drawn in a sorrow so deep that Ben’s own heart ached in sympathy. He sucked in a quiet breath as the oven door swung open with a bounce. The two trays inside rattled as they were wobbly lifted out of the hot device with seemingly nothing. Ben’s eyes were wide from underneath his glasses. His jaw had somehow found it’s way to China. 

“Wooooaaaah… Lee, you never told me that you had _superpowers!_ ” he gaped, taking the final steps necessary to draw himself fully into the kitchen. 

“B-Ben!” Lee jerked, eyes wide. There was a look of abject terror on his face and Ben wondered why. 

“Are… are you going to send me away?” he finally ventured, struggling to find his voice. And suddenly Lee’s face softened.

“Oh, no Ben. That phone call wasn't about anything like that.” The man said gently, getting up with a muted groan. 

Ben tilted his head. “Then what was it?” he quieried. 

Lee gave him a sad smile. “Do yourself a favor Ben, never get involved in a love triangle, it never works out.” He said softly. “Do you want a scone? They’re fresh.”

Recognizing that the interesting part of the conversation was over, Ben eagerly nodded. “Heck yeah! I’m starving, Lee!” 

Lee started then tossed him a fond look. “Aren’t you always hungry?” he teased. 

Ben pretended to pout, sliding up into his accustomed seat at the table. “Well, yeah! Food’s awesome, you gotta appreciate it when you’ve got it! And I’m a growing boy after all!” 

Lee reached over and ruffled his hair. “What you are, is a bottomless _pit_. Where do you even put it all?” 

Ben froze. “Uh…” he shifted slightly. “My stomach, duh.” _Most of it goes in my pockets if it can…_

Lee’s eyes narrowed and Ben thought he was going to say something but instead he simply turned around and walked over to the stove. By the time two scones were in front of the boy, Ben’s watering mouth could have filled a swimming pool. 

Chocolate _and_ blueberries? What was this a party? Ben took a nibble out of the blueberry one and about melted at the flaky, buttery texture. Man, he loved food. Especially food fit for the heavens. He took a another bite and another, each one bigger than the last.

“Glad you like it.” Lee said, amused. Ben chewed, glancing down at his plate and realizing he had already demolished half of the blueberry scone. 

“They’re delicious.” Ben said. Or at least, he had tried to. What really came out was more along the lines of, “Airilishous.” 

Lee put a hand over his mouth but Ben knew he was laughing at him. The boy pouted accordingly, then got right back to work on demolishing the scones he had on his plate. 

By the time he was done, he had eaten a total number of nine scones and had snatched four blueberry ones for later nibbling. Ben was pretty sure he had managed the snatchery unwatched but the look Lee tossed him said otherwise. 

But the mechanic never said anything and Ben was able to run up the stairs with his prize unchallenged. In the safety of his room, he fished out the scones and neatly tucked them inside a drawer he had selected for this very purpose. A bag of chips, a few pretzels, an unopened ramen cup and a stale bagel welcomed the newcomers. Ben knew he had about two days before the scones went completely stale, so made a commitment to eat at least two of them before then. 

On second thought, maybe he should pack them into his backpack to share with the others. They’d be over the moon if he did that. But… that would mean his stash would be smaller, unsustainable. Logically, Ben knew that he didn’t have to hoard the food anymore - that Lee hadn’t starved him yet and didn’t seem willing to even start - but old lifesaving habits were hard to break. 

So the scones stayed in the drawer and Ben got ready for the school day.

 ***

Lee stared hard at the two trays of scones. He could have _sworn_ there had been an equal amount of scones left in each tray… It didn’t matter. What really mattered was when in the world had Ben started calling him Lee and why hadn’t he noticed sooner?

Lee was pulling up a blank and it was driving him mad. At the same time, it sent warmth into his chest, chasing out the cold that had begun to creep into his heart. He was glad that he had noticed today. He needed it. 

The thuds of Ben’s heavy foot falls on the stairs caused Lee to look up and smile. That boy… Lee shook his head. Where would he be without him? 

_Drowning your sorrows in ice-cream and refusing to go to work out of grief_. Came his mind’s own snarly reply. But Lee shrugged off the pessimism and went to hunt down his keys. He knew he had put them _somewhere_. 

“Lee, I’m ready to go!” Ben came wandering in, and Lee’s heart swelled with warmth once more. He raised an eyebrow at the bulging backpack. What did Ben have in there?

“I just have to find my keys.” He reassured the teen. Ben nodded. 

“Hey um… Lee?” 

“I found them!” Lee held up his quarry triumphantly, then turned to his charge. “Yes Ben?”

Ben shifted side to side, suddenly nervous. “Um… Would it be okay if I slept over at Alex’s house? He invited me yesterday and I meant to ask you earlier… He’d even take me over to his house right away after school so you wouldn’t need to pick me up until tomorrow…” 

Lee tried to fight the grin that was spreading across his face. So _that_ was why his charge’s backpack was fuller than normal. He had wondered. 

“That’s fine.” Ben’s face lit up. Lee continued, “Did you pack a toothbrush?” 

Ben nodded. 

“Deoderant?”

Blushing, Ben nodded again.

“Change of clothes and pajamas?”

“Yup.” 

“Homework?”

“Uh huh. All set.” 

Lee walked forward and ruffled Ben’s hair. “Then it’s time to go.” He said gently and Ben cheered, racing forwards and out the door.

Lee stared at the open door for a moment then shook his head with a rueful sigh. Ah to be young and willing to race everywhere… Lee wished he had Ben’s energy. Ben was practically vibrating by the time the mechanic got out the door. 

Lee unlocked the car and watched in amusement as Ben dove headfirst into his seat and buckled up. The car rumbled underLee’s fingertips and they were off. 

 ***

“BYE LEE I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW!” Ben shouted, jumping out of the car as soon as it had rolled to a stop.

“Be safe, alright Ben?” his dad called back. 

“I will!” 

Ben kept running but his mind had frozen. He needed to rewind a bit. _Dad_? Lee wasn’t his _dad!_ He acted like it but that was what a good foster parent did, right? Right. 

That moral dilemma out of the way, Ben barreled right into the High Council with unrestrained glee. “Guys! Guys! Guess what, my d- _Lee_ said it was alright! Guild field trip to the caves of Isocilees is a go!” 

“It would’ve been a go even if you hadn’t been able to come in person.” Alex pointed out, grinning widely despite his words. 

Ben pouted at him. “Well _yeah_ but it’s going to be so much more awesome with me there!” 

Tam (Tambry had long since become Tam) pulled Ben into a headlock. “You betcha buddy! It’s going to be so cool, we’re going to need extra blankets!” 

Ben felt a thread of nervousness sink into his stomach. He hadn’t told Lee that _Tam_ was going to be there. Lee would flip if he knew a girl was going to sleep over too. 

“You’re staying the night too?” he squeaked out. 

Tam put her hands on her hips then looked away with a pout. “My parents want me home by 11.” She muttered unwillingly. 

Ben nearly fell over with relief. Her fist met his head and dug in. 

“What’s that look for dummy?” Tam teased even as Ben hissed out pained yelps. 

“Ow, ow, _ow_! Tam let me go!” Ben flailed, trying to bat her away. 

“Tam let the thief go.” Isaac came to his rescue, amusement wedged deep in his tone. 

Tam let out a groan but listened to her Guild Master. Ben shot up with a grateful look tossed in his leader’s direction, hands straightening his shirt with a short tug. 

The bell rang, and they all walked in together as a group, laughing and joking as kids were wont to do. 

 ***

Asmsauce straightened up, eyes warily taking in his surroundings after the teleport began to fade from his vision. Beside him, Monksarecool shifted in place, bo staff drawn and ready in his hands. 

“Dude, are we sure this is the right place?” Monksarecool asked, turning to their GM, Kingsway253. Kingsway253 grunted, head tilted expectantly at their navigator and mage. 

“The map says that we’re right on top of it.” Magicalscholar7 said, shutting her map and placing it back in her pack. “The entrance should be right around here.” 

“What are we looking for again?” Asmsauce asked. 

“You didn’t read the log, did you.” Magicalscholar7 deadpanned. Asmsauce grinned at her and raised his hands up in surrender. 

“Guilty as charged!” he chirruped. Magicalscholar7 rolled her eyes. 

“I think I see it! Over there!” Monksarecool shouted, pointing to the guild’s collective left. They all turned to see the cave looming dark and mysterious in the distance. 

Kingsway253 looked at each of his guild members with a serious look on his face. Asmsauce tried to keep from fidgeting but he was too excited. A stern look was tossed in his direction and he stilled to a small vibrate. 

“Alright, people! Tonight we face the hardest quest we’ve faced yet! It’s an A rank log with Red Code, and we haven’t been able to even attempt it since we’ve never had a rogue who’s subclass is Thief.” At this, Kingsway253, Magicalscholar7 and Monksarecool grinned at Asmsauce, making him blush and duck his head. 

Kingsway253 continued, “We’ve fought hard, we’re bound together through the combined amount of blood, sweat and tears we’ve all poured into this and I think our teamwork is steady enough that we can finally accomplish this! Now who’s with me?”In a fit of cliche glee, he stuck out his hand and the others pilled their hands on top of each other until Ben’s right was on top.

“Yeah!” 

“Let’s do this!”

“EEEEEEEEEEE-!”

Kingsway253 grimaced but ignored the high pitched squeal. “On three. One,”

“Two!” Asmsauce was nearly breathless from anticipation.

“Three!”

“GOOOOO GAMER’S HIGH COUNCIL!” they all chorused together then stumbled backwards laughing hysterically. 

“Isaac what _was_ that?” Magicalscholar7 chortled, struggling to catch her breath.

“That had so many cliche’s I lost count at the rousing speech.” Monksarecool snorted, clutching his doubtless aching belly. 

Asmsauce wiped his face clean of tears. “I dunno about you guys but I thought that was amazing!” 

Kingsway253 shrugged. “I practiced.” He said modestly, before grinning devilishly, “Now who’s really ready?”

Everyone raised their hands, their blood singing for battle. 

 ***

Ben let out a depressed sigh, eyeing his GameKid with displeasure and longing. They had played well into the night and had only barely managed to get to the first sanctum by morning’s light. Six more sanctums before the boss battle and it had taken almost all of their inventory to take the first one. He curled up onto his side and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the sound of Alex’s snoring. 

Maybe if he tried hard enough, he’d be able to sleep through the headache that was building up in his head. Each sanctum was probably going to take a day at least, maybe two if they were really lucky. It was going to be a _loooong_ week. 

*** 

“I need a green potion _ASAP_!” Magicalscholar7 snapped, rushing towards Kingsway253’s side. Asmsauce dug around in his inventory, heart in his mouth. Everything had gone wrong when they hit the third sanctum. 

Mobs with levels so high in the red that it made Asmsauce tremble in his boots swarmed them near constantly and despite how they had been able to find more to replenish their inventory in sanctum two, their supplies were diminishing. Fast. 

“This is the last one I’ve got!” the Thief yelled, tossing it to her. He watched as their Mage tipped the green vial into their GM’s mouth. 

“We’ve got more mobs spawning on our rears so we need to shift into another gear!” Monksarecool shouted, running into the nook they had holed themselves into once Kingsway253 had collapsed, healthbar dangerously low. 

“I’ll come with you.” Magicalscholar7 said, standing up. “Ben keep an eye on him.” 

Asmsauce nodded solemnly, summoning his daggers. “I’ll protect him with my life.” He swore. 

Both Magicalscholar7 and Monksarecool smiled weakly at his vehemence. Then they were gone.

Asmsauce was alone. 

 ***

Ben’s head hit the locker with a resounding thud, but he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Junior or well… _Blake_ really - cracked his knuckles and readied for another punch. 

Ben ducked and was rewarded with the sound of metal hitting bone and a foul curse was tossed in his direction. He wasn’t prepared for the kick that came from his right side. With a pained whine, he went skidding. 

He tried to scramble up but by that time, they had all the leverage they needed. 

Blake sneered down at Ben as his cronies (Matt and Josh he had learned in month two of his stay here in Nowheretown) dragged him up enough that he could be punched freely. 

Ben bit his tongue on the first impact and spat out bloody spittle on Blake’s well shined shoes. The punch to the solar plexus was worth it even though it made him want to puke. 

He laughed and looked up at Blake through his sweat soaked bangs. “That all you got?” he asked, “Because that was _nothing_ in comparison to what I’ve been through.” 

The next punch chipped a tooth but Ben kept laughing through the pain. 

 ***

The fifth sanctum, they had made it. They were so close. So close! But Asmsauce couldn’t find the rest of his guild, they weren’t showing up on his map and all of his pings were being returned. 

Was he the only one on? He was going to die he just knew it. He glanced around and froze at seeing an NPC lying on the ground, healthbar so low it was near it’s respawn point. 

But it was a little kid. A little _kid_ and Asmsauce didn’t care that it was just a computer algorithm, didn’t care that it wasn’t real. In front of him, was a kid and that kid was hurt. He dug around in his inventory and gave the kid his last green potion from the last sanctum. Who knew when he was going to get another in this cursed place and heaven knew that the red potions did nothing in this environment. 

The kid sat up and grinned at him, and despite how it was just pixels and ones and zeros, Asmsauce grinned back. The smile remained on his face even as the kid ran off, with a wave and a preprogramed “Thank you adventurer!” 

 

A hand shoved at the small of his back and Ben fell. The end of the stairwell was coming up fast and his hand flew out to keep his head from hitting the concrete below. Something snapped and Ben screamed as everything went white. 

He came to with students crowding him. Blake and his cronies were nowhere in sight. He might have blacked out again from the pain because the last thing Ben remembers is his dad’s panicked voice and moving lights.

He might have hit his head after all…

*** 

Asmsauce was alone again. They were in nearing the sixth sanctum and time was racing against them. He could hear monsters roar off in a distant corridor and knew without having to ask that the source of the noise was where everyone else went. 

Asmsauce stared at the NPC child he had helped out, eyes wide behind his glasses. There was no mistaking it, that symbol near it’s head denoted that it was the boss of the quest. And it’s level was in the red ‘??’ range. If he fought it, he would die. 

The boss grinned, something that was rather terrifying now. It was not like it’s earlier smiles when it was masquerading as a normal NPC in the quest line. It had some monstrous quality to it and it made Asmsauce sick to his stomach. But that might have just been the pain killers. 

It gave him a choice. It flashed before his stunned eyes, and Asmsauce wondered if him being alone was a planned out event in the quest’s algorithms. It was a disturbing thought that he didn’t want to process further. 

 ***

Lee sighed, rubbing at his face wearily. Ben still refused to look him in the eye. The mechanic was past worried and got closer and closer to agonized panic the more Ben denied knowledge of. 

Falling over his own feet, his right shoe. That was no explanation for the boot shaped bruise on his son’s ribs. Nor was ‘I wasn’t paying attention and a pole whacked me in the face.’ up to snuff for a black eye. Ben might have been clumsy, but he wasn’t _this_ accident prone and these excuses had to end. Especially since the last incident had left him with a trip to the hospital and a nice neon green cast for his left arm. His _dominant_ arm. Ben wasn’t so clumsy that he fell down stairs.

Accidents happened, but this? This wasn’t an accident. This was escalating violence. The mechanic feared that the next time something happened, it would leave Lee searching for a coffin. 

“Ben, _please_ talk to me.” He begged his charge, heart in his throat. 

Ben scowled and turned his head. “It was an accident Lee, you know how clumsy I am. I just landed wrong.”

Lee shook his head in denial. “I can’t do anything to help you unless you _tell_ me!” 

Ben started and turned to look at him before a scowl filled his face and he looked at his cast. “I’m okay, Lee.” His quiet voice grew quieter. “I’ve been through worse.” 

“But you don’t have to be!” Lee protested but Ben was shutting him out. 

“I’m tired.” Ben said, laying down and pulling the covers up around him. It was something that Lee usually did and that rejection hurt the man far more than he showed. 

“If you’re sure…” Lee said doubtfully but stood up. “Sleep well Ben.”

“…You too.” 

“I love you.” 

Ben whispered something but Lee was already shutting the door and lost it in the click of the door. The man leaned against the door and slid down, burying his head in his hands. Burning tears pooled in his palms, making his eyes sting as his heart - newly glued together - broke all over. 

 ***

 

[call for HELP or FIGHT]

 

Asmsauce chose FIGHT. 

 ***

The chatter in the cafeteria was as loud as it always had been. But to Ben, it sounded like both a deafening roar and a muted babble. He sat on one side of their usual table, with everyone else on the other side. It was like a tribunal and he was on trial. 

Ben flinched under the three way glare he was receiving. “I said I was sorry, okay?” he cried out, cradling his broken arm to his chest protectively. 

“Well because of your rash decision, we failed the quest! We’re going to have to wait another _month_ to get up to the inventory level required for that quest! We were already two weeks in and now that’s all smoke!” Tam snapped, an ugly glare on her face. Ben cringed when her fist hit the table. 

“I’m _sorry_.” He said. And he meant it. 

“Well sorry’s not going to cut it.” Alex scowled. “It’s nearly finals time and we were planning to have that quest as our last hurrah. Now we have the choice of either failing our courses or restarting the quest.”

Ben looked at the ground, fighting the urge to cry. He knew he’d messed up. They didn’t have to keep rubbing it in his face. Not when everything else was going wrong in his life. 

“I’m sorry.” He said again. The words tasted like blood and ashes, like the sharp taste of earth and burning metal. It seemed like it was all he could say, any other words fell by the wayside with the burn of guilt in his throat. 

“Just go, Ben.” Isaac said tiredly and it felt like the world was falling away from his feet. 

“Okay.” He said, mind numb but his heart screaming the opposite. “I understand.” 

And so he left. He left his heart crushed and bleeding behind too. And he didn’t cry. He _didn’t_. He didn’t deserve to cry. The quiet of the hallway was like a balm on his ragged heart. No one would see how hurt he was. How much loosing their friendship meant to him. 

He found a quiet corner of the hallway and tucked himself in for the long haul. It would be a while yet before lunch was truly over. 

“Well well, if it isn’t the fostie.” 

Ben didn’t look up. “What do you want Blake?” he asked. He didn’t want to fight anything anymore. He wouldn’t fight back, it was too much effort. 

“Did some research, did you know that since the Sandy Hook shooting there’s been a sharp increase in gun related violence?” Blake sounded indifferent to Ben’s answer, but the red head could see in his mind’s eye the cold gleam of cruelty in his face. 

Ben didn’t look up, he didn’t have the courage. His heart pounded in his chest. Sweat made his palms itch. 

Cold metal poked him in the head and Ben remembered that night when everything began to go wrong with a sharp clarity.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The World Calling by There for Tomorrow


	5. Hide Somewhere No One Else Can Find

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nine years ago, Ben's life shattered into pieces. He's been trying to pick them up ever since. Eight years ago, he started moving. Now in the present, the Past is repeating itself with all new actors. WIll Ben ever get his happy ending?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LET THERE BE ANGST. MUCH ANGST!!!! I tried to be as accurate as possible, but since I have limited knowledge things have been put to liberty (ie drug abuse and guns). Sorry this is a painful chapter. it gets better!

 Ben toddled down the hall, clutching his blanket with his thumb in his mouth. He was very young after all, he was allowed this small thing. At least, that’s what Papa said. Mama would always sigh and shake her head. Ben liked sucking his thumb, it was comforting.

As he made his way down the hall toward the kitchen, he began to hear upraised voices. Mama and Papa were fighting again and something inside him quailed to hear it. What if they started yelling at him too? Mama always told him to go upstairs before that happened, but Ben wanted some milk before bed. 

Ben hoped they weren’t fighting in the kitchen. He toddled a few more steps down the hall, the voices growing louder the closer Ben got to the kitchen. But they weren’t in the kitchen, they were in the living room. Which was _close_ but not really close enough that he could interrupt the fight. 

The boy toddled on unsteady legs into the tiled kitchen, his footie pajamas proving to be a hazardous addition to his balance and Ben nearly fell head first into the fridge. His small hand grasped the bottom of the handle and that was the only thing keeping him from falling further down. Ben stared wide eyed at the the refrigerator then grinned a gap toothed smile (the tooth fairy had given him a quarter for loosing his front tooth, a _quarter!_ That was like… a lot of pennies!) at discovering his prize. 

Now he had to figure out how to open it. How did Mama do it again? Ben paused and put his hand to his chin, like he had seen Papa do before. Papa said it was his ‘thinking pose’ while Mama said it was something silly that silly people did to look smarter. Mama was like that. But Ben could tell she enjoyed Papa’s humor and how Ben tried to follow in Papa’s footsteps. 

“Her two little goofballs.”, she’d say, ruffling both of their heads. Ben didn’t know if he liked that or not. The hair rubbing thing, he meant. He didn’t know what a goofball was but it sounded silly and he _liked_ being silly! It was fun!

Ben looked at the refrigerator door, fingers stroking an imaginary mustache. Mama pulled at the door handle, so maybe if he did that then he’d be able to open the door! Ben did a little happy dance at this discovery. Happy as he was, he nearly forgot about the argument that Mama and Papa were having in the living room. But a well timed shout of anger soon brought the reminder home. 

“I will _not_ have _that man_ in our home, Jonathan!” Mama practically snarled, and Ben’s insides froze. 

“Emma, he’s _family_ , that has to mean something, right?”

“Well he’s no family to me!”

“Emma!” Papa sounded appalled. 

“Think about Ben! Do you really want that man to be around Ben, Jon? Do you?” Mama sounded… scared. Ben never knew Mamas could get scared. 

“He has nowhere else to go.” 

“Because everyone else has the sense you’re lacking! They found _Mary Jane_ in his car - I don’t want that around Ben!” 

“I’ll make sure he stays clean.” 

Ben didn’t understand what they were saying. Why was Mary Jane in this guy’s car and why was he all dirty? Did he not take baths like his Mama had told him to? Ben frowned (it was more like a pout) and stared up at the fridge. This door was _heavy_! 

While Ben tried to pulled the fridge door open with his tiny hands, his parents started arguing again. 

“How can you guarantee that, Jon? How can you?!”

“He told me he would!” 

“And you _believed_ him? He stole half of Eliza’s savings for-”

Ben fell back with a yelp, the door finally swinging open under his weight. The boy rolled until his back hit the stove behind him. The arguing had stopped. 

“Sweetie, what are you doing out of bed?” Mama asked from the kitchen doorway. Ben grinned up at her.

“I’m trying to get milk!” he said, tongue dipping through the gap in his teeth. “The door don’t like me.” He added as his Mama picked him up and placed him on her hip. She nodded, looking at the open door.

“I can see that.” She tapped him on the nose. “Now, lets get you some milk, hmm?” 

“Emma…” Papa said but Mama shushed him with a sharp glance at Ben who was cheerfully singing to himself about milk and it’s yumminess. 

Papa closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Emma, _please_. He’s the only I have family left.” 

Mama poured some milk into a sippy cup and didn’t reply. When she settled the cup infront of Ben she turned to him. “Do what you want.” She said, and it was a dark thing full of bitterness and worry. “But as soon as he touched a single piece of weed we’re kicking him out, you understand?”

“I understand.” 

Ben sipped his milk and tried to understand all the words going over his head. One thing he understood for sure was that who ever this friend of Papa’s was, Mama wasn’t letting him into the garden. There were a lot of weeds there. Ben shook his head minutely and took another sip of milk. He didn’t understand his Mama and Papa sometimes…

***

Uncle Dan came to live with them a few weeks after Ben’s night excursion for milk. Uncle Dan was thin and his face gaunt. It made his eyes seem bigger than they actually were, and the look in them made the small child very, very nervous. So nervous that the usually outgoing child hid behind his mother’s skirt when he caught those sharp blue eyes. 

His mother placed a warm hand on his back and smiled down at him. Somehow, in some unknown way, Ben knew that she was as nervous as he was and it didn’t put him at ease like she intended. Instead, it made everything worse. 

“Thanks for letting me stay here, Jonathan.” Uncle Dan was saying to Ben’s father, face contorted to a facsimile of a smile. Ben thought it looked more like a grimace and hid further behind his mother. 

“You’re family, Dan, I couldn’t just let you sleep on the streets.” Jon said, earnestly clasping his brother’s boney hands in his own. 

Uncle Dan’s face darkened. “Yes you could have, family means nothing to the rest of the world.” 

Ben tugged at his mother’s skirts, heart in his tiny throat. “Mama, can I go now?” he tried to whisper. Both men laughed and Ben started guiltily. 

“Hiya Ben! You’ve grown since I last saw you!” Uncle Dan squatted down to Ben’s level. Ben stuck his thumb in his mouth right in the gap where his other front tooth had been, his free hand clutching at Emma’s skirt. 

“Mmmh.” He hummed around his thumb, but Emma gently tugged the appendage out of his mouth with a gentle but scolding call of his name. 

“Ben, be polite.” She chided, despite sounding like all she wanted to do was snatch him away from Uncle Dan’s close proximity and hold Ben close to her chest. Ben wished she would do that. He didn’t like this. 

“…Hi.” He finally managed to say and once that was down he stuck his thumb back into his mouth, as if to say ‘there I’m done talking now.’ 

Jon stared down at his son, utterly bewildered at the uncharacteristic shyness. “Sorry about that, Dan.” He apologized. “He’s usually more talkative than this.” 

Dan straightened up, brushing nothing off his knees. “I’m sure he’ll warm up to me eventually. Isn’t that right kiddo?”

Ben tucked himself deeper into his mother’s legs. Nope. Ben would be the chilliest he could be, like an ice cube keeping lemonade cool. He didn’t want to warm up to Uncle Dan. Something was wrong with Uncle Dan and Ben didn’t like it. 

“C’mon Ben, there’s some hot chocolate calling your name.” Emma called, tugging at his hand gently to get him walking towards the kitchen. 

“Can I gets ‘mallows Mama?” Ben asked, looking up at her hopefully.

“Get, Benny, it’s get. And of course you can have marshmallows!” 

Ben attempted a little happy dance but a happy dance is very hard to do while walking and so nearly fell on his face. Emma caught him before he could fall too far and laughed at the pout Ben tossed the ground. 

Ben could hear his father and Uncle Dan’s voices in the other room, a low murmur of rich volume practically melting into the background like butter on fresh bread. But soon the smell of chocolate and sugar chased the voices out of his mind and Ben forgot about how he didn’t like Uncle Dan for a while.  

***

“Pew! Pew! Oh no Dr. Mad Stone is shooting at us! What do we do, Shadow Hex?” Ben cried out, rolling out of the way of a deadly blast of gamma radiation (whatever that was). 

“We have to stop him, Red Cat!” came Shadow Hex’s high pitched voice. Ben nodded. 

“Yeah! But… how?” he asked. 

“Aaaah! Look out!” Shadow Hex squealed, and both Ben and superhero dived out of the way of another shot. 

Ben popped up, spitting out grass. “Now that was just mean.” He pointed a finger up at where Dr. Mad Stone was hovering on one of his hover saucers and cackling. “You hear that, you’re a meanie!” 

“Ohhohohohohahahaha! HAHA! You cannot beat me Red Cat, Shadow Hex!” Dr. Mad Stone boasted. “You will watch as your beloved park burns!” 

“Never!” Shadow Hex declared, enraged. 

“In the name of justice we’ll defeat you! I, the Red Cat of the city!” Ben struck a pose. 

“And Shadow Hex of the moonless nights!” 

“Will defeat you!” they both chorused, pointing dramatically at their nemesis. 

“Tech!” Dr. Mad Stone was beginning to panic. “Minions!” 

Out of nowhere, many many bots swarmed them. 

Ben gasped. “Oh no! Shadow Hex what do we do? We’re outnumbered!”

“A hero never gives up without a fight, Red Cat!” Shadow Hex declared, despite how she was getting swarmed by Dr. Mad Stone’s evil minions. 

“But how can we fight when there’s so many! Ugh get off me you’re too heavy!” Ben flailed, trying to fling off a bot that had clamped to his hand. He could feel himself weakening. “Oh no… Shadow Hex, help!” 

But Shadow Hex wasn’t paying attention to Ben. Instead she was looking over by the house. Ben looked over too and gasped, the evil plot of Dr. Mad Stone to take over the neighborhood entirely forgotten. Ben ducked low to the ground so the bushes could hide him and Shadow Hex better. 

It was Uncle Dan. Ben watched through the gaps in the leaves as the gaunt man glanced around and then began to walk down the sidewalk. 

“Should we follow him?” Shadow Hex’s high pitched whisper reached his ears and terror filled his gut. 

Ben clutched the Shadow Hex doll to his chest and shook his head. “Nu uh, Uncle Dan’s worse than Dr. Mad Stone.” He muttered into the doll’s hair. 

“How come?” Ben made his voice grow higher to fit Shadow Hex’s voice better. 

“‘Cause he scares Mama and Papa. And makes them fight when I’m suppose to be in bed.” 

“Oh that is bad.” Shadow Hex’s whole body bobbed up and down. 

“I knew you’d say that.” Ben said, and headed inside. He didn’t want to play with Shadow Hex and Dr. Mad Stone anymore. Not when a real villain was on the loose. At least when Uncle Dan was at the house, Ben knew that everything would be okay. But when Uncle Dan disappeared… 

Ben shuddered. He didn’t like it when he didn’t know where Uncle Dan was. He could pop out anywhere and scare him.

***

Ben couldn’t sleep. But he didn’t want to leave his room either. Milk would be nice, but if he left his room, he’d have to face the chance that Uncle Dan might come back at the same time. 

A door slammed and Ben flinched, clutching Sir Jas to his chest. Sir Jas waved his stuffed arm around. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Ben. Sir Jas was a great teddy bear. 

“Where were you, Dan! You didn’t come home for three days! Don’t you know how worried we were?” 

Ben tucked his face into Sir Jas’ fur, shivering. Papa never yelled like that. Even when he and Mama were fighting, he never yelled. Ben thought he had but now he knew that Papa’s voice just got louder when he was upset. This wasn’t upset though. This was scarier, louder. 

Uncle Dan’s reply was soft and quiet. 

“You promised me you wouldn’t touch the stuff. It was the only reason I didn’t listen to my wife. I let your promises blind me and now your promise is broken!”

“You going to turn me in, Johnny? Your own family?” Uncle Dan’s voice sounded _weird_. 

“You’re not my family, get out Dan! I said GET OUT! If I see your face around here again, I’ll turn you into the cops!” 

“Fine! I don’t need you, I don’t need your pity!”

The door slammed and silence filled the house. Ben shivered, a sick feeling growing in his stomach.

Something bad was going to happen, he just knew it.

***

It had been so long since the whole family was together. Emma cradled Ben in her lap as they watched a movie, both entirely too enthralled to notice that Jon had gone to pop more popcorn. 

The loud bangs of a gunfight between the villains and the heroes filled the room.

“Go! Go! Go!” Ben cheered, bouncing in his mothers lap. Emma laughed, eyes trying to find her husband. When she couldn’t find him, her eyes narrowed. 

Ben glanced up as his mother gently set him on the sofa cushion next to her. 

“I’m just seeing where Papa went, honey.” She assured him. There was a lull in the action on screen and the house was filled with gentle music as the heroes tried to regroup and recenter themselves.

She headed out of the living room and into the darkened hallway. 

Jon met her halfway, eyes wide and face pale. 

“Jon, what’s wrong-?”

“He’s here.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “What? Who’s here? It looks like you’ve seen a ghost!” 

Jon grabbed Emma gently by the arms. “Daniel. Daniel is here and he has a gun.”

Emma’s blood froze. Her breath caught in her throat and she tossed a desperate look at the light streaming from the living room. “What do we do?” 

“Call 911, I’m going to stall him, okay?”

“Jonathan wait!” Emma hissed, hands trying to hold her husband in place. “You don’t have anything that would protect you if he shot you!”

“I have to do something, Emma. It’s my fault. Go to Ben, hide somewhere and call the police.” 

“Hide with us.” She pleaded, “You don’t need to do this!” 

Jon paused, kissing her on the forehead. “Tell Ben I love him.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as he began to walk away. “Tell him yourself! You come back and you tell him yourself! Jon please, _please_!” 

A small voice caused both of them to freeze. “Papa? What’s wrong?” 

Jon stiffened, back to his son. Emma hurried over to Ben’s side and brushed some fiery red curls away from his forehead. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie.” 

“Where’s Papa going?” Ben asked, tugging at his mother’s sleeve.

“Stay with your mother, Ben.” Jon’s shoulders were shaking. “Papa has to do something, alright?”

“You’ll be back right?” 

Jon bowed his head, voice suddenly choked. “Of course I will. Have I ever broken a promise?”

Emma choked back a sob, hands over her mouth as Ben tilted his head. “Well… no…” the boy allowed. “But why are you sad, you said you’ll be back so you don’t need to be sad.”

Jon turned around and smiled at the boy who shared his red hair. “When did you become so smart?” he asked softly. Ben puffed up his chest, proud at his father’s praise. 

A sudden crash caused everyone to freeze. Emma watched as Jon whirled around and began to run to the front room. “Emma take Ben and hide! He’s found a way in!”

Emma moved, heart pounding as she scooped her baby boy into her arms and began running. 

“What’s going on - Mama?” Ben asked voice rising in agitation. “Why are we running? You told me we didn’t run in the house!”

“Hush, baby. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” 

Gun fire made her flinch and Ben stilled in her arms. 

“Is it Uncle Dan?” her baby asked, looking at her with eyes far too old for a child only five years of age. Tears welled up in her eyes, causing her vision to go blurry. She turned the corner and spotted an old armoire. 

“In here, sweetie.” She placed Ben inside, on top of several folded up blankets. “Don’t come out until Mama or Papa says okay?” 

Ben stared up at her, tears making his eyes look glassy. “I’m scared.” He whispered, sniffing. 

Emma felt her heart break. “Oh honey I know. I know you’re scared. But you have to be brave, you have to be brave for Mama and Papa. Can you do that?”

Ben sniffed, wiping at his tears and nodded. More gunfire echoed in the house making Emma flinch. “Stay safe, baby. Mama loves you.” 

And then she shut the armoire doors, shutting her little boy in darkness.

***

Ben trembled, hands clamped over his mouth as he tried to breath quietly. His heart pounded in his chest, it felt like it was going to hammer right out of it. He was sure Uncle Ben would be able to find him, everything was so loud. 

But he had to be brave! He had to be brave! Ben closed his eyes, trying to escape the darkness of the small space he was in. The silence around him was deafening, making his ears ache and pulse in time to the beat of his own terrified heart. 

A scream and a gunshot broke the silence, making his heart jump into his throat. A sob hung there, the tears falling down his cheeks. He was so scared. So, so very scared. Why was Uncle Dan doing this?

There were footfalls, and Ben peered out of the crack between the doors, trying to see if Mama or Papa were coming to get him. His heart stopped beating, sinking with a sickening jolt. Uncle Ben didn’t even look human anymore. His face was skeletal and his eyes were dead. He looked like the dead come to life, something that should have died long ago. 

“Oh Benny~” Came a rasping singsong voice, from that gaping hole, “Come out come out wherever you are… it’s time to play a new game.” 

Ben squeezed his eyes shut. “Be brave, be brave, be brave.” He whispered to himself. 

“Benny..” 

Ben curled into himself, head hitting the door slightly with a light thump. “Be brave, be brave, be brave.” 

“I fooound you…” 

Ben was yanked out of the cabinet with a scream. “Let me go!” he wailed, stomping his feet and trying to get Uncle Dan’s toes. “Let me go!” 

“Ah ah ah, none of that, Benny.” Uncle Dan said, grip on Ben’s arm tightening. “We’re going to play a game. We never really got to play together, didn’t we, Benny?”

Ben stilled for a minute, heart pounding. “A game?” 

Uncle Dan grinned, face contorting to that of something out of nightmares. “Yes, a game. You like games don’t you, Benny?” His grip on Ben’s arm tightened.

“Y-Yes?” Ben squeaked out, “Let go, you’re hurting me!” 

But Uncle Dan did not listen, merely began to drag Ben along. “It’s a fun game, Benny, you’ll see.”

“Ow! This is fun, you’re hurting me! Stop it!” Ben cried, tears welling in his eyes as his feet slid and dragged against the floor, his small legs unable to keep up with an adult’s brisk pace. 

They passed the living room, with the tv still blaring the movie they had been watching. Tears burned in Ben’s eyes. He wanted his mom, he wanted his dad. He didn’t want this. He hated this. 

They got closer and closer to the front door and Ben’s breath caught in his throat. On the ground, glistening in the hallway’s light, was a large pool of red. A terrified whine couldn’t be swallowed and filled the air. Ben knew what that color was, knew what it was because of how he would trip and fall, scraping his knees on the ground. He knew what it was. Knew what it meant. 

The sound of sirens filled the air. Ben’s bones creaked in painful protest as Uncle Dan’s grip on his arm tightened so hard that he couldn’t help but cry out in a pained sob.

He tossed a desperate look up at Uncle Dan, then back at the pool of blood on the ground. He looked everywhere for something to help him escape, and found nothing. Suddenly, his world jerked as he was pulled up in front of his Uncle, a still cooling piece of metal placed in the small of his back.

“Keep walking, Benny. Just do what I say and you’ll be fine.” Uncle Dan said. “It’ll just be like Simon Says.” Ben was trembling, tears rolling down his face. He was horrible at Simon Says. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to _die_. 

Outside the window, Ben could see police cars, parked with their red and blue lights on. It looked so far away… Tears blurred his sight. 

“Open the door, Benny.” Uncle Dan’s voice cut through his sobs. “If you run, I’ll shoot. If you scream, I’ll shoot. If you speak, I’ll shoot. Do you understand me?”

Ben nodded, heart pounding so hard it was almost unbearable. He took a shaking step forward, clammy hands curling around the doorknob. Shouting instantly came into clarity, the wailing of sirens and the panicked yelling of neighbors. Ben wanted to yell, to scream and shout, but the gun pressing into his back kept him silent, the tears streaming down his face.

“Be quiet please!” 

“This is the police put your hands where you can see them!”

“Just like Simon Says, Benny.” Uncle Ben sang in Ben’s ear and just as fast as he had shoved him forward, his arm wrapped around Ben’s neck, the gun at his head. Ben’s feet rose up off the ground and Ben choked. His hands went up to the arm blocking his airway. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t _breathe!_ He was going to die. He was going to die! His vision blurred further, ears ringing with the commotion as he panicked. 

“Let us through or I’ll shoot his brains out!” 

Ben couldn’t keep the gasping sob quiet and it rang in the deafening silence. 

“There must be some way to work this out peacefully, what are your demands?” a police officer asked through the megaphone. 

“I want a car and a guarantee you won’t send me back to prison!” Uncle Dan yelled.

“Let the kid go, and you’ll get your car.” The police officer negotiated. 

The hold on Ben’s neck tightened and he weakly kicked at the man’s shins, trying to breathe. 

“Clear a path, give me the car and then I’ll give you the boy.” 

“Do as he says!” another officer yelled.

The grip on his neck loosened slightly, enough that he was able to get in a great gasp of air. Ben coughed, vision clearing enough to see what was going on around him. But then they were moving, the crowd parting a path to a car. 

Uncle Dan reached the car, and then bent forward to breath in Ben’s ear, “Run.” 

Ben’s heart stopped as the man’s grip on him loosened and Uncle Dan leveled the gun at him. The sound of other guns being drawn made it all the more terrifying. 

Ben ran. Something hit him on his side, sending him spinning to the ground. Ben screamed. His ears rang, and when he tried to get up, he fell back down as pain flew up to his brain. His side was on fire. It hurt hurt hurt hurt hur-

***

Nine years and the phantom sounds of sirens and people shouting still echoed in his ears. Nine years and he still could remember the feel of a gun pressed to his head, could still hear his uncle’s taunting words of ‘Simon Says’. Nine years, and he still could remember the phantom agony of that bullet hitting his side. Nine years and he was staring down the barrel of a different gun, in a place that should have been safe.

Should being the key word. In a perfect world, Ben would still be with his parents, should still be home with friends that cared. But his uncle, his mind addled with drugs and tainted by anger, changed all of that. And here he was, stuck in the same situation that started the whole thing. Perhaps it would end it too. That would be something, a journey began by a gun being ended by a gun. 

Ben let out a soft little sigh. “Are you really going to use that, Blake?” he asked quietly. All of a sudden he was just so _tired_. 

Blake’s hands are shaking, the gun trembling. “What do you know!” he bites out. 

Ben tilted his head, glancing at the gun then back at the teen, his expression completely blank. “Shoot me, or whatever. I don’t really care.” And he didn’t.

It came as a complete and utter surprise but Ben really didn’t care. He didn’t care about what happened to him. And in a way, it would be kinda poetic, if he died like this… if what hadn’t killed him nine years before, killed him now. 

A numb haze was spreading over his mind, blocking out the voice that tried to point out all the people that would be hurt if he died now. How _Lee_ would hurt if he was gone. But Ben was past the point of caring. 

Blake gritted his teeth, finger twitching over the trigger. Ben huffed, a small mocking smile growing on his face. “You can’t do it, can you? You can’t shoot me.”

“SHUT UP!” Blake screamed. Ben went deaf, his eyes saw the jerk of the gun, the recoil practically knocking Blake off his feet. Ben looked down, where blood was pooling at his side. Then the pain hit him so hard he couldn’t even gather the breath to scream. A quiet choke of breath bubbled out of his mouth, almost like a sob. His heart pounded in his chest and tears squeezed themselves out of his eyes. 

He had lied. He had _lied_. He did care. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to die. Not yet… not yet… 

Ben slid over sideways, choking and breathing and sobbing voiceless. It was worse than he remembered. Far, far worse than a memory. Memory was faded, made hazy by time and grief. Reality was a bucket of agonizingly cold ice water. 

His vision swam, he thought he saw Isaac tackle Blake to the ground and keep him there, the skittering of the gun being kicked far away echoing in his ears. He thought he heard Alex’s shaky voice speaking to someone over the phone. He thought he felt someone pressing something soft to his side, sending shards of agony up to join the rest of the pain already wracking his wrecked nervous system. 

“You’re g-going to be okay!” he dimly heard some one say (T-Tam?), fighting tears. 

“S-Sorry…” Ben whispered choking on his words, “I’m s-sorry.”

“No, no, no you don’t get to do this to us Ben, don’t you dare leave us! Ben!” Her voice grew fainter, and Ben knew no more. 

***

Ben woke up to the sight of a white ceiling. His nose inhaled the sterile but clean air and exhaled it all in a sigh. A dark figure lay on the end edge of his bed, head pillowed by arms. Ben squinted, trying to see who it was. His head lolled to where his glasses lay by his bedside. He needed those. He tried to stretch out his arm (still broken, still in a cast) and winced as the motion sent a dull throbbing up his side and into his head. He scowled, wiggling his feet slightly in the picture of petulance. 

It was this wiggling that woke up the figure. 

“Ben?” Oh. It was Dad. _Lee_. Dad? Ben didn’t know what he was going to call the man sitting at his bedside anymore. 

“…Hi…” the boy weakly said, flopping his right hand in greeting. There was an exhalation of breath, and then Lee was handing him his glasses. 

Lee looked… well… the only real way to put it was that he looked terrible. His clothes were rumpled, his hair was falling in lumps out of his usually perfectly neat bun. But that was all Ben could tell because in the next minute after he had reclaimed his glasses, Lee had engulfed him in a great big hug. Ben wanted to relax into it, he really did, but it was pulling at the stitches the doctors had put into his side and so an involuntary hiss escaped his teeth. 

“Are you alright?” Lee asked, pulling back and looking at him worriedly. 

“Mmm as well as I could be.” Ben said, “they’ve got me on something that’s numbing it mostly.” 

“Do you need a higher dosage?”

Ben shook his head. “No, it’s not _that_ bad. It just stings slightly if I move wrong.”

Lee relaxed a little then sighed. “Ben, we need to talk.”

Ben’s heart froze. “Don’t send me away, please! I’ll do better to not end up in the hospital! I promise!”

Lee’s eyebrows furrowed then a small sad smile filled his face. “Oh Ben… I’m not sending you away. But we need to talk about what happened at school. I don’t want you to be hurt like this again. I need to know what’s going on in that head of yours.”

Ben looked at his hands, how one was in a cast and the other was free. He thought of all the bruises and the lies he had told to explain them. Maybe… maybe this time… maybe this time someone would be willing to be on his side?

So Ben opened his mouth and talked. He talked about how the fighting had started, how it had grown worse when others weren’t around, turning physical and how he had eventually reached a point where he had lied too much, said so many things that he was slowly strangling himself with his own words. 

He told Lee about the disastrous quest with his club, how they were mad at him. How they were probably still mad. And then, he spoke about how it had all begun, how he had ended up in foster care, and how history had repeated with different actors. 

The words stopped flowing and Ben fought the urge to fidget. Finally, Lee spoke, after a long pause of silence.

“Do you know who called 911?” Lee asked. Ben shook his head. 

“It was Alex.”

Ben’s head snaped towards Lee, eyes wide. 

“Tam put pressure on your side until the paramedics arrived to take over. Isaac and a teacher held Blake down to make sure he didn’t hurt you or anyone else further.”

Ben looked down at his hands, blinking back tears. “Why would they do that? They were mad at me. Isaac even told me to go away!” 

Lee took his right hand gently. “They were mad yes, but they didn’t hate you, Ben. It was a mistake in a game. One that can easily be fixed over the summer. But if you were to _die_ , well, that can’t be fixed. They weren’t angry enough that they wouldn’t help you if you called out for help, Ben.”

Ben swallowed. The tears fell down his cheeks and a sob got stuck in his throat. 

Lee carded his hands through Ben’s hair, massaging the boy’s scalp and Ben leaned into the touch. 

“Just cry it out, Ben. Its okay, you’re safe now.”

“I was s-so scared!” Ben sobbed, “I thought I was gonna die, I didn’t want to die!”

Lee didn’t stop the gentle motion of his hands, “Me too, Ben, me too.”

Ben cried in Lee’s arms, and after nine years... the last wall around his heart crumbled, allowing him to grieve properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Kingdom Come by The Civil Wars


	6. Still Here, Staggering On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gamers and their families deal with the mental and emotional aftermath of Blake's actions, Ben struggles with figuring out his exact feelings towards Lee and Lee is trying to keep everyone glued together. Group Therapy, anyone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Still Here by Superchick

In Ben’s experience, he had found that Hollywood never came close to getting the recovery of a gunshot wound right. The hero was always on his feet in a matter of hours, acting as if he was in top condition. In reality, full recovery took a matter of _months_. 

It took three weeks just for the surface wound to fully heal. The muscle and tissue underneath that took even longer to knit back together to form the complete scar. Like six more weeks long. During all that time, Ben was forced to do missed work online, read books recommended by his English teacher (and enforced by Lee), watch TV, play games and sleep the rest of the days away, all in the confines of his hospital bed. 

Summer vacation was just around the corner, and Ben couldn’t even get a whiff of it. It was right outside, right under this nose and just barely out of reach. It was infuriating and Ben swore up and down he’d go mad if he had to stay another week. 

“Hey kiddo.” A very familiar, very welcome voice said, and Ben grinned up at his foster father.

 _Hi Dad_! The words traveled up his throat but changed by the time he opened his mouth to that of, “Hi Lee!” 

It had happened enough that Ben wanted to hit his head against the pillow, or maybe even better, the moveable table. He eyed the table over his lap but was ultimately distracted by Lee sitting down by his feet.

“You ready to get out of here?” Lee asked. 

Ben immediately brightened. “You betcha!” he grinned, fighting the urge to vibrate as that way of movement lead to very uncomfortable twinges of pain.

Lee leaned over and ruffled the boy’s hair. “If you’re able to sit up on your own and last longer than last week, then you’ll be free to go.”

Ben sensed a ‘but’ in there. He said so and Lee let out a sigh. 

“You’ll be in a wheelchair and have to go to physical therapy.”

Ben blinked. “Oh. Well that’s nothing new.” A nagging thought he had been trying to ignore managed to poke through his defenses and he desperately made to grab Lee’s hand. “But the house! It isn’t designed for a wheelchair! What are we gonna do, Lee!”

Lee grinned tiredly, and squeezed Ben’s hand gently. “We’ll mange Ben. Don’t worry.”

“But my room’s upstairs! We don’t have anything that would make going upstairs easier!” Ben was beginning to panic. “I-I’ll just sleep downstairs, on the couch!”

“Ben, you know as well as I do that the couches are not made for sleeping. They’re too lumpy. I’ll just carry you up and down the stairs.”

Ben stared at his foster father, open mouthed. “But I’m heavy!” he finally spluttered. 

Lee shook his head, a smile on his lips. “Not as heavy as the cars I work with, Ben. I can promise you that.” 

Ben cast a doubtful look at Lee’s thin physique and the older man raised an eyebrow. Ben settled back into his pillows. “If you say so…”

Before Lee could reply, Ben’s doctor and hospital assigned physical therapist walked in and the boy steeled himself for the grueling process that would free him from this stagnant and boring torture. 

 ***

**_Magicalscholar7_ messaged _Asmsauce_ at - - 2:39 PM - - **

 

 **Magicalscholar7:** hey Ben…

 **Magicalscholar7:** just wanted to let you know that we’re still here, and that we

 **Magicalscholar7:** I

 **Magicalscholar7:** I just

 **Magicalscholar7:** …

 **Magicalscholar7:** you know what? 

 **Magicalscholar7:** I’m just going to head over to your house okay? This needs to be said in person, not on a dumb screen. 

 

**_Magicalscholar7_ has gone offline at - - 3:05 PM - - **

 

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*** 

It had been a week since he had been released from the hospital and all Ben wanted to do was _sleep_. His room was dark, the blinds drawn tightly shut. It was silent, except for the sole occupant’s steady breathing and the ticking of an old clock. 

A soft knock broke that stillness, making Ben burrow deeper into his bed. “Go’way.” He grumbled. 

“Ben… It’s me… I just…” Tam’s hesitant voice came from behind the doorway. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

The red head bit down on all the hurt words that wanted to spill out of his mouth, hot anger in his chest. Guilt was there too, but it was much less than the anger that spawned from it. But despite all that churning emotion, Ben still couldn’t bring himself to say anything that would hurt his… friend. He couldn’t hurt her, and he would if he said something, let the hurt and anger out. So Ben didn’t speak. He didn’t say anything. 

“Ben, I’m sorry, okay? I-I messed up. I messed up. And I know, I don’t have a right to ask for your forgiveness, or that sorry can really make up for what I did. How I hurt you.” 

Ben stared at his wall and felt his heart clench in a realization. Tam was crying. 

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fa-fault.”

He was opening the door before he knew it, and Tam was falling into his arms, sobbing so hard she couldn’t breathe. His side twinged as he stumbled back. 

“My fault. My fault.” Tam kept repeating, the words nearly intelligible from between her sobs. 

Ben stared, eyes wide at the sight of one of his best friends crumbling to pieces in his arms. “I-it’s not.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably, “It’s not your fault, Tam. It’s not.” 

“You got shot! There was so much blood, I thought you were d-dying, I thought you were dying thinking I hated you! I don’t hate you I never did! You have to be-believe me, Ben I never hay-hated you! Never!” Tam babbled, hand clutching at the bottom of Ben’s shirt as if he would disappear. 

“I know, Tam, I know.” Ben said, heart in his throat as he placed his own hand over her darker one. “I know.” Tears were burning in his own eyes and they dripped down his face to land in her dark bushy curls. 

They sat there in the doorway, two children broken by horrors of the world that should have never been known to them. A silence of camaraderie filled the small space between them.

“Tam?”

“Y-yeah?”

“…I think we all need therapy.” 

A wet laugh was Ben’s reward and she nodded against his collarbone. 

 ***

Alex opened his eyes to see the busy school cafeteria, people eagerly chatting about anything and everything under the sun. He felt strangely detached, as if he were a phantom caught inbetween the veil of life and death. He blinked and suddenly, he was hovering over a table tucked away in a far corner of the busy room. 

He saw Ben, too small and too skinny for his age, shrinking down in his seat and Alex’s blood ran cold as he realized what this was.

“I said I was sorry, okay?” Ben said, a sob catching on his throat. 

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it!” his past self snapped, a dark and ugly expression on his face. Alex wanted to put his face in his hands and weep. Why couldn’t any of them see that Ben had been breaking from the inside, and it was all their faults? 

Ben shrunk down further in his seat, wilting with every word sharpened into razor blades by anger that was tossed in his direction. 

And then the fateful words were spoken, harsh in their dismissiveness. “Just go, Ben.” The words _You’re too much trouble_ screamed out of the past Isaac’s entire body language and Ben _crumbled_. 

“No! No, you guys stop! Can’t you see you’re hurting him?” Alex screamed, an invisible wall between him and his past self. “If you let Ben leave he’s going to get hurt!”

Alex’s past self turned to look at him. “Oh yeah? Just like you hurt him, right? This already happened, you can’t change it.” He sneered. “It’s your fault, anyways.”

Alex stumbled back, shaking his head. “No! No it’s not! It’s Blake’s!”

Alex’s past self smirked, an expression that was so twisted thatAlex could hardly believe it was his own face. “Tell that to Ben.” He nodded behind Alex and so the teen turned. 

Ben lay on the cafeteria ground, blood pooling around him. Alex could only watch as his best, dearest friend coughed wetly, struggling to breathe air into blood filled lungs. 

“Alex why?” he asked, brown eyes clouded by pain looking directly at the blond. Alex stumbled, falling backwards. His hands touched something warm and sticky, and when he jerked them up in horror, he realized that it was blood. 

“It’s your fault it ended this way, you know. You chased him out.” His past self said as he stared down at his hands. 

The sound of the safety being clicked off made Alex jerk his attention away from the gruesome sight on his hands and towards his past self. 

“No! What are you _doing_!” he cried out, stumbling to his feet on unsteady legs. 

Alex’s past self pointed the gun past him. “It’s your fault. So I’m finishing what we started.” He shrugged, finger over the trigger.

Alex lunged. “No!” 

Then suddenly, _Alex_ was the one holding the gun, finger squeezing the trigger. Ben gasped once in terrified agony, the light fading from his eyes and Alex screamed. 

*** 

Isaac sat up, heart pounding. The screaming didn’t stop and it took a second for the black haired teen to realize that the noise was coming from his sleepover partner. He leaned over and started shaking his friend, heart pounding in his chest as the screams soon turned to sobbing. 

“Alex! C’mon, wake up!” he begged, shaking Alex a bit harder. 

Green eyes shot open with a sharp gasp mid sob, the tears still streaming down his face. “Ben. I killed Ben!” Alex sobbed, and Isaac could feel every sob that shook his body from underneath his hands. 

“W-What are you talking about, Ben’s not dead!” Isaac scrambled for words. “Ben’s not dead! You didn’t kill him!”

Alex clutched at Isaac’s hands as if he too would disappear. “Gone, he’s head. I saw him die, Isaac! I saw him die right in front of me! I shot him! I shot him dead -I’m a _monster_ -”

Isaac pulled Alex upright and let him cling. The black haired teen’s free hand searched for two things. Finding them, nearly on top of each other, Isaac shoved his glasses on and plopped his phone on his lap. 

There was only one thing to do. 

*** 

There was this loud obnoxious buzzing. Ben blinked awake, head pounding. It was a video call, from Isaac. At… Ben squinted against the brightness of his screen, two in the morning. 

“‘lo?” he muttered, half planting his face into his pillow as he did so. 

Isaac looked absolutely _exhausted._ “Hey, Ben. Wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t necessary but a certain idiot has bought into his nightmare telling him he killed you. Again.” 

Now that the other teen mentioned it, Ben could hear a faint keening in the background and his heart clenched. “Alex, hey…” he called, fighting back a yawn. “I’m still here, don’t worry okay? I’m still breathing.”

Now he really wished he hadn’t had a physical therapy session in the morning, so he could have slept over at Isaac’s too.  

“You died, Ben! You died! I killed you, it’s my fault!” Alex’s weepy babble drifted into Ben’s ears. Ben sighed, resting his face on the pillow in such a way that the camera on his phone could see everything. 

“You didn’t kill me, Alex. I’m still breathing, my heart is still beating. I would know. It’s okay, Alex.” Ben said firmly. 

Alex let out a noise that was half a sob and half a whine. 

“Just listen to my voice okay? That’s all you have to do.”

Ben watched as Alex practically wilted in Isaac’s grasp. “M’kay…” 

So Ben talked. “So there was this one quest I was soloing while you guys were at school, and lemme tell you, it was awesome! I got some really good loot…”

Eventually, Alex nodded off, body limp and pliant. Isaac yawned and laid the two of them down. 

“Sorry to do this to you again, Ben.” Isaac apologized. Ben rolled his eyes and smothered his own yawn with a hand. 

“Naw, we’re good. I don’t want him to be trapped in that mindset as much as you do. If I can help in any way, I’m glad to do it. Even…” he yawned again. “Even if it _is_ four in the morning and I have to get up at six.”

“Sorry…”

Ben shrugged. “You guys are worth it, it’s no biggie.”

There was silence on Isaac’s side of the call. “You’re worth it too, you know that right Ben?”

Ben couldn’t speak, his throat had swelled up and trapped his words in his chest. His eyes burned as a warm feeling melted his heart into goop. 

“Ben?” 

“I… yeah…” Ben rubbed at his eyes where the traitorous tears were starting to spill over. “I-I know… is’jus…” 

“It’s hard to get your heart to where your head is, huh?” Isaac said with a voice ladened with sympathy. 

Ben nodded minutely. “Yeah…” Then his face nearly split open with the yawn that snuck up on him.

“Get some sleep, Ben, you need it.”

Ben was already nodding off again, glasses pressing into his face. “Mmmm…” 

“Night Ben.” 

And then Ben out, Sandman’s dust finally kicking in. 

 ***

The silverware drawer was rattling again. Lee clenched his fists and inhaled through his teeth, trying to smooth down his anger. Stupid reporters. When would they understand that ‘no’ meant _NO_? 

The phone buzzed again with it’s obnoxious default ring tone. Lee jumped when a pot hanging on a drying rack rattled so hard it fell off and hit the tile with a clatter. He glared at the drying rack then back over at the phone. He reached over and turned the phone off. 

A headache was brewing inside his head from all stress. With a scowl, he downed some Ibuprofen and went to take a nap. Maybe when he woke up, it would be gone. 

*** 

NR News

**Armed teen shoots fellow student inside school, faces juvenile detention**

**_B_ ** _lake Mariees, fourteen years old and already in possession of an infamous criminal record due to his recent actions faces…_

**Only casualty in school shooting hospitalized in critical condition**

**_A_ ** _frantic 911 call placed at about 1:20 p.m. by frantic student Alex Lawson alerted authorities that…_

Ben scrolled through the news feed on what had happened to him and felt ill. With a harsh swallow, he exited the browser and turned off his phone. 

His GameKid beckoned and so Ben lost himself to the realm of Torrential Heirs and his role in being a thief for the greatest guild in existence.

 ***

**_Asmsauce_ logged onto The Gamers High Council at - - 4:15 PM - - **

 

 **Magicalscholar7:** hey Ben

 **Asmsauce:** hey

 **Asmsauce:** …this sucks

 **Monksarecool:** tell me about it

 **Magicalscholar7:** you found the news articles, huh?

 **Asmsauce:** yeah

 **Asmsauce:** now I just feel sick, u know?

 **Monksarecool:** same

 **Monksarecool:** not

 **Monksarecool:** fun

 **Monksarecool:** at

 **Monksarecool:** ALL

 **Kingsway253:** how’d you guys find out?

 **Monksarecool:** tumble feed. It’s got a lot of notes too :/

 **Monksarecool:** it’s even got footage a dumb kid sent to the NR News. It’s bad quality but it was enough that 

 **Monksarecool:** well

 **Magicalscholar7:** it brought it back.

 **Monksarecool:** yeah so what Ben said. This sucks. I want it all to be over with and then some stupid person brings it back, raging about gun control.

 **Monksarecool:** I mean, yeah having safeguards on guns would be AMAZING don’t get me wrong. I just. I hate being made an example of. We’re people, not an object lesson on why guns are evil and should be melted down for scrap metal. 

 **Monksarecool:** I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don’t want to be scared anymore. 

 **Kingsway253:** yeah

 **Magicalscholar7:** nailed it

 **Monksarecool:** hey Ben, how’d you find out anyways?

 **Monksarecool:** Ben?

 **Asmsauce:** I

 **Asmsauce:** I gotta go

 

**_Asmsauce_ has gone offline at - - 4:53 PM - - **

 ***

Ben barely made it to the bathroom in time. The bile was acid on his tongue, a thing that summoned more of its own kind at the taste. Dimly, he was aware of a gentle hand rubbing his back in soothing patterns, but mostly he could only focus on the painful clench of his stomach, the burning in his throat and the taste of acid clinging to his mouth. 

Eventually, his body couldn’t find anything else to purge from his stomach and Ben slumped sideways off the porcelain throne and into his foster father’s comforting and stable arms. 

“Ben, sip this.” Lee said, pressing something cool to the boy’s parched lips. “Swish it around then spit it back out until the taste is gone.”

“M’kay…” Ben hummed, side a dull throbbing. He took a sip an found it to be water from the tap, the slight taste of metal chasing the acid away. Following Lee’s instructions, Ben gargled the water and swirled it around his mouth, making sure to get everything that had been once contaminated. The boy leaned over the toilet and spat the foul taste away. 

Ben took another sip of water, this time to sooth his parched throat and felt a wash of gratitude that he had landed on Lee’s doorstep instead of another inept caretaker’s home. _Thanks Dad._ The thought slipped through his barriers. It was lucky that he had swallowed ten seconds before, else he would have either choked or sprayed everything in one explosive splat from the surprise of it all. 

Lee took Ben’s stillness as the boy being finished and gently eased the cup out of Ben’s grasp. 

“You okay?” the man asked as Ben slumped against him.

Ben let out a hum. “Mmmhmm.” He leaned into Lee’s steady warmth, limp as a noodle from the state of exhaustion that tossing up all your cookies left you in.

The boy felt Lee heave a sigh, before strong arms scooped him up. “This isn’t healthy Ben.”

Ben shrugged. “Mhm.” 

Lee had a really nice heartbeat. He could fall asleep right now, knowing he was safe and that someone cared about him. Ben’s head drooped.

“Hey, hey! Don’t fall asleep just yet! It’s not even six!” Lee said as he sat him down on a comfy chair. 

Ben felt a whine build in his throat. “I’m tired!” 

Lee ruffled Ben’s hair. “I know, Ben. But we need to talk about some things.” 

Anxiety reared it’s head and made Ben’s heartbeat speed up. He opened his eyes, rubbing at them as they watered. “Things?”

“Ben…” Lee hesitated. “You can’t just bottle up things, you’re not dealing well with what happened. You throwing up like this every time you remember, it’s not healthy.”

Ben fidgeted. “But what should I do?” he blurted out. “I’ve dealt with what happened! My body hasn’t gotten the memo, that’s… that’s all!”

Lee leaned forward from his perch on the coffee table, “What if we got someone who could help make that connection with you, Ben?”

“Like a shrink? Lee, I’m not crazy! I don’t need a shrink!”

Lee held up his hands in the universal sign of surrender, “I was thinking more Group Therapy than one on one sessions.” He smoothed some of the black strands escaping his neat bun back into place. “Look. I’ve talked to your friends’ parents. And your friends are willing to do it if you want to - and only if _you_ want to. It wouldn’t be with anyone you disliked and we - the adults that is - would be pitching in to pay for it.”

Ben’s mind reeled. It was so _big_! No one had gone this far for him. No one had _cared_ this much. 

“I… I think I would like to at least try it.” He admitted in a voice choked by emotion. 

Lee relaxed slightly. “Okay. Okay. We’re going to be okay.” 

Ben nodded. “Yeah.” 

It was like a revelation.

***

Their first group session was _awkward_. Or at least, it started out that way. 

Ben vibrated in his seat, a ball of nervous energy. Beside him, Alex wasn’t much better and Tam was squeezing the life out of Isaac’s hand, her knuckles completely white. It said a lot about Isaac’s mental state that he wasn’t filling the air with complaints about the pain. 

Dr. Malo sat on a chair with them. He had said he didn’t want to give the impression there was a barrier. Which, when Ben took a moment to think about it, kinda made sense. The teachers who sat behind their desks all the time were pretty unapproachable. Dr. Malo was a blond haired man who’s hair was long enough to pull back in a low ponytail. His fair hair contrasted wonderfully with his darker complexion. 

“So, since you all know each other, but I don’t know any of you, let’s take this first session easy and stay towards lighter topics, okay?”

“Like get to know you games?” Alex asked, face contorting to confusion. “I thought we were here to ‘talk about our problems’.” He made air quotes with his fingers. Privately, Ben shared his confusion.

Dr. Malo smiled. “That can come later, when all of you feel comfortable bringing it up. I’m just the facilitator here. I might ask some probing questions, but mostly I’m just the sounding board so you can all get what’s bothering you off your chest.”

“And you won’t tell our parents?” Isaac’s usually strong voice was quiet and painful to listen to. Ben didn’t look at his face, he couldn’t bare to see the pain etched onto that surface like it had in sound. 

“Unless you’re suicidal, otherwise, the answer is no, I won’t tell your parents.” 

All around the circle, tense shoulders relaxed. 

Dr. Malo clapped his hands together. “So, what’s everyone’s favorite game?” 

“Torrential Heirs.” Everyone chorused in near unison. 

“I see, you all must be pretty dedicated. Is that how you all became friends?”

Ben felt his voice lodge in his throat, his heart pounding in his chest. At his side, Alex went ridged. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tam’s hand tighten even further and Isaac grimaced but said nothing. 

Ben wet his suddenly dry lips. “Y-yeah. It’s what brought us together alright.” _And what nearly tore us apart._

Dr. Malo could sense that this was shaky ground and made a note on his notepad. “Okay, what’s everyone’s favorite tv show? Mine is Kingdom of Lore and Shadow, anyone heard of it?” 

The atmosphere in the room shifted slightly with the subject change. Ben felt Alex relax. Maybe this wouldn’t be a bad thing after all. Now… what show _did_ he like, anyways? Was it okay to have more than one favorite because oh _boy_ did he have a lengthy list. 

 ***

Ben’s head ached, but he was pretty sure it was from his foster father’s misplaced worrying. He’d ask Isaac’s mom for an aspirin if it was still there when he got there.

“Ben, are you _sure_ you want to go out so soon?” Lee said, hands plucking at an imaginary piece of thread on Ben’s shoulder. Ben rolled his eyes.

“I’m _fine_. Blake isn’t even in the town anymore - they moved away from the shame remember?” he shoved his hands in his green jacket. “He’s probably facing juvie right now. I’m going to be okay. I’ll be waiting outside.” 

Lee didn’t look convinced but let his hands fall to his sides. As Ben turned around to head out the door, he called out, “Did you grab your lunch?” 

“Yes, Lee.” Ben patted the bulging part of his backpack for emphasis.

“Did you grab a change of clothes for tomorrow? A fresh pair of underwear?” 

Ben nodded. “ _Yes_ , Lee. I have my deodorant, my toothbrush _and_ a comb too.”

“Do you need any snacks, treats? Is your toothpaste all out? Do you need an extra pair of socks? Any breakfast to bring with you? We still have some scones left.” Lee worried, fingers twitching with the need to fix _something_.

“ _Dad_! I’m _fine_ you don’t need to-” Ben froze, hands slapping over his mouth. Under his black frames, his eyes were huge. He’d finally said it. It had finally slipped out.

Across from him, Lee had also frozen. A large grin slowly spread over the mechanic’s face. “You… You called me dad.” A huff of wonder left his lips. 

“I…” Ben rubbed the back of his head., nerves filling his stomach with dread. “Yeah, I… guess I did. And, and - it’s true, you’re my Dad and if you don’t like it I won’t call you-”

Lee engulfed him in a hug, cutting the teen’s anxiety fueled babble. Ben froze before melting into the embrace, his backpack sliding down to the floor with a thump. 

“I already told you, you silly boy. You can call me whatever you want.” Lee said into Ben’s red hair. With his eyes closed and his head resting against Lee’s chest, Ben couldn’t help but believe the man who was in all but legality his father. 

“Dad, find your keys, I’m going to be late for that quest.” 

Everything really was going to be alright.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well lookie here! I actually managed to finish this installment! Well how about that. I might come back and focus on some stuff I skipped over in a different installment, but I feel like this is a pretty good wrap up of this arc. 
> 
> Sae, I am sorry about all the angst I inflicted on you. Like seriously, I am so, so sorry. I was not expecting this fic to go so dark when I first started writing and then my muses threw me under a bus and we ended up here. Hopefully the next installment (WEDDINGS YAY!) will be much more fluff than angst.


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